#I know those two are different but who cares

[midnight-fox-boy]

YES!

It's not my job to argue with a bigot about my existence, BUT-

this saying is taken so far out of context. Blaming kids who are growing up in a hateful environment for mimicking the behaviors and genuinely thinking they're doing what they're supposed to do are not evil. Education doesn't always work, especially not right away, but planting the seed of knowledge can eventually grow into a nice pretty tree.

At an event for low income families, there was an HIV alliance booth. They had pride stickers. This small kid grabbed one and the kid's I assume grandmother told him something bigoted and that they had to stay away basically. The kid threw the sticker in disgust at the people working the booth.

The grandma apologized on his behalf 🙄. Like, this is literally what happens. Kids get told "Ew no those people are gross/bad/evil", kid reacts to this information with fear, disgust, anger.

There's such a big difference between trying to educate and tolerating unacceptable behavior. If a kid is bullying a disabled kid after being fed ableist nonsense, trying to educate the bully doesn't mean letting the behavior go without consequences. Two things can exist at one time.

You can educate while setting strict boundaries. Maybe that's giving someone the resources they could use to learn how to not be an asshole and then saying "don't talk to me until you've read this and had time to think about it, if you refuse to learn then I will no longer be present in your life".

Trying to educate people you care about doesn't mean giving them 10000 chances. It doesn't even have to mean you doing the actual education.

And while you do not HAVE to do anything and that is completely up to you, the strict mindset of "I don't have to educate anyone" can close off real opportunities.

I've witnessed people being horrified to ask questions because they didn't want to say something wrong but didn't know how to go about wording it in the best way, and/or were not even remotely tech savvy with looking up unbiased information themselves. (Still amazed how people get so far in life with so little understanding with technology in today's world but w/e).

Idk, people make mistakes and say not great things. People struggle to dismantle the BS they've had drilled into their heads. It's their responsibility, yes... But at the same time if we at least try to have a conversation, we can know better if the conversation is worth it.

Hey I don't know who needs to hear this, but kids who were never taught about a subject acting like the subject they never heard about doesn't exist aren't active participants in its erasure. They are the people the erasure has been done to. Of course you know what's been done to people like you, but attacking kids about it is like beating a dog for being domesticated.

If it's "not your job to educate people", then I'm curious to know what exactly are you doing in the activism you say you're doing.

[daeniradraconis]

Banter Between the Lines - Hughes Brothers

Author's Note: Hey, so here’s another quick chat-style piece! I haven’t had much time to sit down and write properly lately, so short and sweet it is for now. 😊 Feel free to send me some requests if you’d like! (You can check out the "rules" here: link). I can’t promise when I’ll get to them, but I’ll definitely find time soon.

Summary: A little fluff with a touch of smut (nothing too crazy, just some extra flirting). Quinn’s girlfriend roasts the boys while calling them out in their group chat.

Warnings: Nothing major, just some mention of 🍆.

It was one of those quiet Sunday nights where everything felt slow. You'd spent the evening catching up on your favorite shows, but it was hard to concentrate when all you could think about was Quinn. The constant distance between you two had become harder to ignore with each passing day, and as much as you loved how happy he was with his team, you missed him. And, truthfully, you missed the whole family.

You’d gotten close to Jack and Luke over the years, and now, with Quinn playing for the Vancouver Canucks and Jack and Luke together on the New Jersey Devils, the family dynamic felt a little more spread out than you liked. Sure, they’d all make time for you when they could, but it wasn’t the same as those days when you’d all hang out together.

Tonight, instead of a call or a quick text, you decided to turn to something a little more familiar. You opened up youtube and searched for their latest highlights.

All three of them were struggling on the ice, and it showed. It hurt to see them like this, especially when you couldn’t do much to help. So you did what you always did in times like these—opened the group chat and prepared to roast them into oblivion. If nothing else, it might make them laugh.

you: just finished your highlights. Quinn, congrats on being the saddest guy on the ice again 🥇. Jack, loved the mini tantrum energy 👏. Luke, did you forget which team you play for? because those turnovers were next-level.

Jack: wow, you really woke up and chose violence.

you: always. someone has to keep you humble.

Luke: humble? this feels more like a personal attack.

Quinn: what would you call it, then?

Luke: bullying.

you: oh, Lukey, don’t take it so hard. I tease because I care 💕

Jack: you literally plotted my ex’s demise last month. is that “caring” too?

you: first of all, it wasn’t a plot. it was more of a… fantasy.

Quinn: putting her in the ground “while she’s still breathing” doesn’t sound like a fantasy…

you: listen, if she hadn’t been such a manipulative little snake, I wouldn’t have had to consider it 🐍

Luke: terrifying. but honestly? fair.

Jack: I could’ve handled her myself, you know.

you: oh, really? because from where I was sitting, she had you wrapped around her finger like a puppet.

Quinn: she’s not wrong!

Jack: whose side are you on?

Quinn: hers. always.

you: damn right honey. and don’t worry, I’m not plotting her demise anymore… unless she tries to come back. then all bets are off.

Jack: remind me to never date again. you’re scarier than Quinn’s slap shot.

You grinned as the banter flew back and forth, but your focus shifted to Luke. His disastrous date still didn’t sit right with you.

you: okay, but seriously, Lukey. I've heard some gossip. how does a girl ditch you mid-dinner? you’re literally the sweetest human alive.

Luke: THANK YOU! finally, someone gets it.

Jack: don’t encourage him. he needs to toughen up.

you: excuse me? let him be sweet! not every guy needs to have your level of 'I’m too cool for feelings,' Jack.

Quinn: valid point.

Luke: thank you, Quinn.

you: honestly, Luke, I’ll never understand how she left. did you say something weird?

Luke: no!!! I was perfectly normal.

Quinn: “normal” is a stretch…

Jack: is this really the same guy who told a girl on a first date he’d make six different accounts just to sort himself into Hufflepuff six different times because he didn’t 'trust the algorithm'?

Luke: OKAY, THAT’S DIFFERENT. I was being honest!

you: oh, Lukey. you’re lucky you’re adorable because that is painful 😂

Luke: this is why I didn’t want to tell you guys.

Quinn: bro, it’s fine. just embrace the awkward puppy vibe. it’s clearly your brand.

Luke: I hate you.

Jack: ugh, why does he get the sympathy? roast him more guys!!! I can’t be the only one taking L’s here.

you: because Luke doesn’t put ketchup on his eggs like a serial killer, Jack.

Luke: yeah, what is WRONG with you? ketchup on eggs? really?

Jack: you people are so dramatic. it’s normal.

Quinn: nothing about that is normal.

you: thank you, Quinn. once again, the only rational person in this chat.

Jack: stop flirting with my brother. it’s disgusting.

Luke: seriously. I can feel the weird vibes through my phone.

You smirked, knowing exactly how to push their buttons.

you: you’re just mad because Quinn’s risotto is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.

Quinn: best risotto AND lasagna. don’t forget!

you: how could I? it’s the only reason I keep you around. And of course your magic 🍆

Quinn: oh, not my sparkling personality? btw you're objectifying my body...

you: hmm… maybe that too. but i have my priorities straight!

Jack: 🤢 STOP. this is disgusting.

Luke: seriously. this is TMI guys!!

you: just jealous, you two can’t even scramble eggs properly.

Quinn: cooking skills = key to a woman’s heart.

Luke: ugh. golden child strikes again.

Jack: some of us don’t need to cook because we have charisma, thank you very much.

Quinn: does your charisma excuse ketchup on eggs? because it shouldn’t.

Luke: still the biggest red flag in this chat.

Jack: Y’ALL ARE SO DRAMATIC.

You smiled at their bickering, your heart full, untouched by their chaos.

you: okay, but for real… I miss you guys 💔.

Luke: aww, finally some love.

Jack: are you feeling okay?!

you: don’t get used to it. but yeah, I miss you. Quinn, risotto night when you’re home! Jack and Luke, you can come eat it too.

Quinn: deal. but I’m ignoring them for the first hour I’m back. i need my time with you!

Luke: RUDE!

Jack: gross. is this the flirting portion of the chat? can we not?

you: love you too, boys. even if you’re disasters.

Jack: love you too. now stop flirting with Quinn before I puke.

Luke: seriously. save it for your own chat.

Quinn: jealousy doesn’t look good on you two.

Luke: jealous of what? your cooking? maybe. your 🍆? absolutely not.

you: you should be Lukey! your brother got some great 🍆

Jack: I’m OUT.

Luke: same.

Quinn: good job hon. guess it’s just us now. you: just how I like it 😘

[jodoesnew]

On the other end continued (P1)

Moon stared unmoving. His systems went into shock and his joints locked in an instant. He saw their mouth move but his audio just kept on buzzing louder and louder

"Moon!!!" Suns consciousness ripped him out of his control deeper into their mind.

"They shouldn't be here." Moon couldn't think straight this was not a scenario he was programmed for or had any experience in.

This was impossible to solve for him in every way

They are a machine and you aren't... why would you even come to the conclusion that an animatronic was the person you had talked to all that time.

"You are panicking Moon stop it!" Suns grip on him was harsh "They probably mean something else! You two never officially meet remember!"

Moon began to calm down.

"You can do this! Just throw them out for their break, because they need to take it!" Sun shoved Moon back into control. The whole exchange between them only lasting a fraction of a second.

Moon once again had to stare into your eyes from up close. He never saw you like this. To be honest he never had the chance to see you in person at all. He had only ever heard your voice. You sound so different up close with out the static from their hacked phone connection.

You seem nervous. A normal thing to be around Moon. Sun must have been right you are here for something else. You would never guess that you spoke to a machine instead of a human.

"Your voice-"

Oh no.

Moon felt his systems spike again.

"This will probably sound a bit strange, but I have to ask you-"

You didn't get to ask. Moon jumped to his feet and started running.

He knew it was stupid. He knew this was so much more suspicious. But he wasn't the actor sun was. And even if he had tried to persuade you into leaving. He would have had to say something right?! Then you would have known... but you already know...

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Suns voice shrieked into moons control "YOU WILL RUIN EVERYTHING!!!"

"I can't do this."

"What?" Sun was taken aback by moons tone

He sounded weak nearly breaking of

Oh the irony... sun wanted to say a lot about Moons hypocrisy in all this

But he didn't.

"I just can't." Moons consciousness seemed to glitch around sun and he felt the body over heat.

/so much for 'i don't care about them sun, but I will support you in this anyway' and now look who is worse for wear because they somehow have feelings for them/ Sun steeled himself for what would come next.

Moon reached the light switch.

You flinched as the whole daycare turned bright.

Sun did a few mock breathing exercises and turned around. Smile unwavering as ever.

"Friend you shouldn't be here right now!"

The animatronic made his way back over to you and towered before your small form still kneeling in front of the spot moon had sat at just a few seconds ago.

You felt even more confused by all this. What did even just happen?

Sun's faceplate ticked from right to left in an uneven rhythm like the animatronic was eyeing you.

"Friend, unscheduled overtime is not covered by fazcos policies, which you know means you're not allowed in the working area at this time. And are advised to either leave the premises, go to an employee break-room or contact your supervisor for a change in your work hours. Please leave so that you can still get your break. And we can continue our work unhindered by such rulebreakings."

Sun shifts under your gaze. The turmoil Moon was currently going through would probably mean that he would have to take over for the rest of the day.

You looked at him. And it felt to him like you saw him for the first time. Not those short looks you threw at them from the security desk or the courtesy greetings and goodbyes. No you looked at him. Like he was there. Real.

Sun fought with himself hard to point you to the door. To get you to leave.

Oh he wanted you to stay so badly. Wanted to rant and vent about everything that had happened to him and moon since they had stopped themselves from talking to you.

You walked out. You never were the confronting type. Sun knew that.

But what he didn't know was that you only left because you didn't want to cry infront of the children. And when you would talk to the attendant again. you already know that you will cry a lot.

[panpteryx]

hey so I work in the supplements industry (as a database admin not sales) and this? 100% accurate

the people working with it are not comprehensively trained and some of them seem to barely have a highschool understanding of chemistry/biology: I met a guy who while ostensibly "fully trained" to give people recommendations on herbal supplements (ie. semi-unregulated (I'm in Canada so there are some regulations) compounds that can significantly impact your health if not taken with the utmost care, re above) didn't know what a damn polysaccharide was. or that dietary fibre is largely just indigestible cellulose which is sugar and different sugars digest differently.

but past the lack of information or actual training the thing that bugs me the most is how the entire industry is fully blurred between stuff that IS medically relatively sound and stuff that isn't

Like. vitamins and minerals get lumped into "complimentary" medicine a lot of the time and those largely (not always) DO have genuinely useful and medically studied effects and effectively measured doses! iron and vitamins b12 and C deficiencies can in fact be treated with supplements. whether vitamin D and magnesium do much as a supplement is a bit more iffy research-wise but there's some decent work looking at magnesium to help with migraines and stuff and I can say it does actually seem to do something for me.

HOWEVER. you put those on a shelf next to fucking. homeopathic "holy basil" and St. John's wort pills and garlic pills and it just muddles the entire damn thing. actually studied vitamins and minerals next to a damn 50$ vial of water with the same amount of active ingredient as it would if someone waved a leaf over and the medieval "will kill a fetus before it kills you probably if you're lucky" abortion pills I don't hate this shit because it doesn't work: I hate it because it's extremely unpredictable and you can't predict when it'll work. And it will!

and the issue with that is people treat it so lightly. like. even if we're assuming that the compounds in these herbals are being isolated and dosed effectively and there are no unlabelled add-ins (which is a hard assumption but for the sake of the argument) people treat it like it's "just herbs" instead of (ostensibly) medicine. if doctors should not be telling everyone "eh just take this strong gallbladder medication for a month or two, see if it does anything" without comprehensive testing to see if the patient actually has a gallbladder issue, why the *fuck* are these "natural health advisors" doing that with what's supposed to be the equivalent in herbals?

for a lesser example of people taking things very lightly: it's happened at least twice but I just remember this occasion where a coworker from the sales floor came back to the office with an innocuous looking bottled drink like "hey these just expired you want one": I grabbed an ice tea, took a swig, and then ten minutes later I was flat on my desk struggling to keep my eyes open because AS IT TURNS OUT the drink was laced with ashwaghanda. which is a stimulant. which makes me exhausted (same as coffee).

this wasn't entirely unpredictable: I've got adhd and respond atypically to a lot of stimulants and stuff. Guess what a lot of "helps you focus and makes your brain work better" supplements are? Yeah.

This is a pretty mild example of a bad side effect ("annoyingly tired at work for a day") but. you don't just dose people with stimulants without telling them they're stimulants! those drinks were just up by the counter in a cooler labeled as ice tea! they didn't have any caffeine in them so they weren't labeled as having caffeine: people don't know what ashwaghanda is! what if someone had heart problems! my "ugh why am I so tired" response to stimulants is extremely minor by comparison to the problems someone with other conditions might have!

--yeah. it's fucked. don't take anything if you haven't done comprehensive research on it and you know (and it's POSSIBLE to know) exactly what and how much of what is in it. and especially don't give it or suggest it to other people.

When you say you're anti-CAM what does that mean? Like what does CAM mean in that context? I genuinely haven't seen that acronym before and I'm assuming you aren't anti-camming as in like the form of sex work

Complimentary and Alternative Medicine.

I am capable of turning off my inner annoying atheist, I am incapable of turning off my inner annoying quackwatcher.

I have had real life fights with people I genuinely love about this and I do not regret it. I will absolutely not regret shitting all over someone's $500 herbalist certification.

[fanzou]

Un Bisou

✔ Pairing: Sanji Vinsmoke x Fem!Reader

✔️ Summary: Though the cook himself is considered the most romantic amongst the crew, alone with you—he begs to differ.

✔️ Total WC: 1.4K

✔️ CW: SMUT, oral (Sanji receiving) lots off kisses (in unholy places as well), reader is discreet about her affection, no penetration, reader takes really care good care of Sanji *wink wink*

✔️ A/N: My first work! Extremely excited, requests are now open.

Sanji absolutely adores you, and it’s certainly no secret.

You absolutely adore Sanji, but your love reveals itself in secret.

When the crew sails to a new island, you’re sure to have the blonde right next to you, never leaving your side. He keeps his slender fingers tugged into your softer ones. When he doesn’t have his hands in yours he’ll fit his arm snug into your waist. When he doesn’t have his arm around your waist, he’ll compensate by maybe putting it around your shoulder. Case in point; Sanji Vinsmoke needs every excuse to showcase to the world that you are his and his alone.

When you’re out to eat with the crew, make no mistake—Sanji has his arm snug around you once again, chairs pressed next to each other, and when he isn’t engaged in the conversation (in your presence, he almost never is) he’ll give your neck a little kiss, whisper an “I love you” and longingly gaze into your beautiful eyes.

“He’s worshipping her! Wow, is she lucky.” One woman whispers to the other, “Yeah, but she obviously doesn’t see it, she’s practically trying to get away from him,” the other continues in what you can only chalk up to be distaste towards you, “He’s drooling all over her and you can tell she doesn’t even care.”

“If I were her, I’d be all over that.” The two giggle at the comment together.

Your discomfort isn’t unnoticed by the blonde, your brows furrowed and a little tense.

“Don’t listen to them baby.” His hand glides down to caress your thigh before pulling you almost impossibly closer to him. The act itself made you blush but inevitably… It was true, although Sanji was known for his public displays of affection, you were the other side of the dynamic who didn’t reciprocate those same displays given how easily flustered you got, though you would grant Sanji access any given moment, it was almost embarrassing for you. Not because you were insecure, but it wasn’t something you deemed proper. You believed in having decorum and keeping a respectful image anywhere you went, even if you were a pirate—the fact still remained. Sanji worshipped the very ground you walked on, but his advances could be a bit overwhelming given the circumstances. Regardless, he relished in your embarrassment. He thought it was cute.

And it’s only because Sanji knows who you really are.

Sanji knew that the second you returned to the ship, the others still scoping out the island for any supplies they could gather for the next adventure. In the kitchen, you would be all over him.

You might act like you didn’t care for his little antics in public, but in private?

First, it started playfully. Giggling, you kiss his cheek, and then you’d bite it—and kiss it again. Then you’d move to his lips and give it a few pecks before hurriedly moving to his neck and absolutely ravishing it. You’d give Sanji’s neck a few licks here and there to which his own laughs and giggles started dying down and turned into breathy moans and a couple of curses. Yes, this is the woman he knew and loved. He’d put his hands on your hips and guide your lips back to his, only this time it wasn’t just pecks. You and Sanji started to sloppily make out while your hands skillfully unbuttoned his shirt. Once unbuttoned, you started feeling around his chest while simultaneously trying to fight for dominance on his lips. Your hands explored his chest, touching his nipples and then going lower and lower.

He moaned at the intimacy of it all, and subconsciously started humping against you. “You’re making me so fucking hard.” He manages to say in between kisses. At this, you put a halt to your little hot make out session and take his hand and guide him back to the girl’s quarters.

Obviously, Sanji preferred it over the men’s.

Once you arrived, you don’t hesitate to open the door and guide him to your bed, making sure it wasn’t Nami’s or Robin’s. (A mistake you’ll never make again after Nami almost murdered you both for it one time.) You quickly find Sanji’s lips again, while he sits on your bed with your thigh between his legs, again; grinding against you. You pull away from the kiss once again, and you can visibly see the disappointment in Sanji’s face. But you insist on taking your shirt off and getting on your knees in front of him, and his once disappointed face doesn’t seem so disappointed anymore.

He quickly tries to unbuckle his pants and slide them off but you don’t let him, taking your hands in his and slowly moving them to his sides, “Baby, let me do what I have to do.” You say as you look up at him with the most loving eyes, they reassure him that you know where you wanna take this, and how could he ever say no to you? He swears he could cum right then and there, to your gorgeous and pleading face, but he hasn’t even got to the best part.

You carefully take off his pants and glide them down to his ankles. Sanji expects you to reach up to the hem of his boxers and start pulling them down like he wants you to so eagerly, but instead you do something that makes him freeze in place. You pepper the outline of his shaft in little kisses while you’re looking at him. It was such a loving gesture, so loving and so caring. Had it not been for the context of the situation he was in, he would mistaken you for the purest angel of all.

“Please, my love,” he says breathless, “don’t tease me like that.” He could see the pre-cum forming a patch on his boxers at this point, and you moan at the sight.

Much to your dismay, Sanji takes it upon himself to finally pull his boxers down to meet his pants. His tip is almost burning red with pre-cum leaking all the way down to his balls. “Fuuuck.” You stare with furrowed eyebrows. All you can do in the moment is look at it in awe. Your cunt is pulsing like a heartbeat and you feel so hot. You try to find any friction by grinding into nothing, maybe hoping that your panties will create enough to emulate any kind. You want nothing more than to sit on it and go to town, but instead, you take it in your hands.

You bring his tip to your lips, “Those women,” *kiss* “were so wrong.” *kiss* You let your spit drizzle on his dick and start stroking him slowly while he looks down at you with the most lust-blown eyes ever.

“If only they knew how much I took care of you.” Then, to his very audible satisfaction, you take him in your mouth ‘til there was no more you could take, your head bobs up and down slowly, and you stop to kiss the side of his dick and then lick it. “They could… never… make you feel like this.” You take hold of his cock with your hand and viciously lick the underside of it’s head. “O-h my… F-Fuck… just like that.” Sanji’s chest is heaving, and he’s fighting the urge to collapse on the mattress and let you do your thing, but he just can’t take his eyes off of you. You’re so perfect. It’s insane. He can’t stop letting out breathless moans while you attack the most sensitive parts of him. His left hand is gripping the sheets of your bed while you make eye contact. The way your tears start to trickle down from your face, your chest plump and glossy with sweat while you’re bobbing your head on his cock is making him weaker and weaker.

You take him out of your mouth again and start to lick his balls while simultaneously stroking him, the whole scene was so very lewd. It was almost disgusting. But because it was you, he was so much more in love with you. You were so beautiful. He couldn’t stop saying your name, it was like it was all he knew.

“I’m gon-na fuck- I’m gonna cum. Please let me cum in your mouth.” He begs, and with his request, you take him in your mouth again, hands now fondling his balls and your tongue attacking his weak spots. He couldn’t take it anymore. He was about to pass out from pleasure, and when he did bust, your head was still bobbing, tongue still swirling. When you decided to take him out of your mouth under the impression that he was done, another string of white liquid hit your chin. Unfazed, you wipe it off with your finger and lick it off, ensuring that Sanji’s request was met. He loved you so, so much.

Sanji beckons you to climb on top of the bed and join him. He looks like he’s on cloud 9, and you can help but give him a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “I love you, Sanji.” And then you lay your head on top of his shoulder. “I love you more.” He wraps his arms around you, like he always does and says, “I’m so glad you’re mine. Just mine.”

You raise your head up to look at him. “Yeah?”

He looks up at you with a crooked grin. You couldn’t help but admire the sexy expression painted on his face, “I wanna kiss you again, Sanji.”

“Be my guest.” He says, taking your chin in his hands.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

what if a yeerk didn't know/realize it was a yeerk? What if it thought it was a human kid?

I'm trying to figure out how this would happen, and imagination is failing me. There is some evidence we've successfully convinced nonhumans that they're humans — Nim Chimpsky would sort photos of himself among photos of humans, putting photos of chimps in a different pile. But Nim was a chimpanzee, sharing 99% of humans' genes. And he was taken from his mother when he was 10 days old to be raised exclusively by humans: sleeping in a bed, wearing clothes, eating with utensils, peeing in a toilet. He'd never met another chimp at the time of that study.

By our best guess, dogs don't think they're human, nor do most pets. Dogs easily learn to prefer humans (or sheep, cows, etc.) over other dogs, but the way they act around fellow dogs is completely different from how they act around other mammals of similar size/shape. This is both because dogs mostly spend their first weeks among their parents and siblings (if not they tend to die, so even shitty breeders rarely take bottle babies), and because dogs have obvious physical differences from humans. Being dogs, they probably care less that we lack fur or use language than that we smell like omnivores who rub themselves with soap, and that we move very differently from quadrupeds. Cats are harder to pin down, but they famously don't meow at each other, only at the dumb apes whose affection or tuna sandwiches they want to demand. I don't think anyone's investigated hamsters or goldfish, but I'm guessing the odds are against one mistaking a giant hand that comes from the sky to dispense pellets for being one's sibling.

So the issue with this hypothetical yeerk is threefold: 1) yeerks don't resemble humans, 2) yeerks need to see each other to feed, and 3) yeerks can't interact with humans without using a human host. Let's suppose that the yeerk is taken into a human home immediately after spawning, that the yeerk shows infantile amnesia (who knows), and that the yeerk grows up only feeding from a private pool that contains no other yeerks. Let's even suppose that we give the yeerk a Stephenie Meyer—style human host who is completely brain dead. Even under those circumstances, would the yeerk think "I'm human"? or would the yeerk think "all so-called humans are greenish slugs operating ape bodies like mech suits; we just don't mention this fact out loud"? And is that the same thing as thinking oneself human?

For that matter, did Nim Chimpsky really think he was human, or do his two piles of pictures simply mean "apes who wear clothes" and "apes who don't"? If he assumed all apes have a life stage of being hairy and good at climbing before metamorphosing into a hairless form good at running, is that the same thing as thinking himself human? Was there a different categorization in his head, and if so was it comparable to the boundaries that humans draw around the concept "human" — e.g. "like-mes" and "beasts"? He never actually learned a human language, because evidence would suggests apes cannot, so we'll never know his exact thought process.

[monabee-draws]

As someone who is acepec, the whole demi Lucanis debacle just doesn't sit right with me. He has so many dialogues that just cut off suddenly, scenes that feel like they're missing (that missive in Act 2 where he talks about dealing with Spite once and for all that just became a completely different scene with Zara??) All the concept art for the romance that was never explored. The massive difference in relationship progression between Rookanis and Nevecanis in terms of both emotional and physical intimacy.

Lucanis' romance is so clearly incomplete even in a game where the romance arcs are sparse on the whole. His character without the romance feels incomplete as well - we get two or so big moments of characterisation and everything else is just the same scene about coffee repeated as infinitum.

I have no issue with a character being awkward and inexperienced, wanting to take things slow, not recognising flirtation or romantic cues, wanting to figure out their complicated situation before jumping into something. I am that person! It took 6 months after my partner and I acknowledged we had feelings for each other for us to start dating because I was not in the right place mentally to do so. Both of us are demi. Both of us have had very few previous experiences with romantic relationships. But that doesn't preclude a person from understanding or wanting emotional intimacy.

The Lucanis situation does not come across as 'he just doesn't have sexual attraction to Rook yet', it's just complete shutdown of conversation on all fronts (something he does not do with Neve, btw.) I too find flirting scary from people I don't know and agonised over it before my partner and I were together. This is not how he's written. His expressions do not reflect shock or awkwardness when Rook flirts, nor does his tone when he responds. Do you know when he does do this? With Neve right at the start of their banter. And he overcomes that shyness quickly. He just does not acknowledge Rook speaking at all the same way any video game character does when their conversation tree is bugged, the game decided to cut some response dialogue and just transitioned directly into the neutral follow-up line. He isn't rejecting emotional intimacy because of Spite and the Ossuary prison because during the ambient dialogue it's clear he's sharing that emotional intimacy with Neve waaaaay before Rook helps him.

I just want more of his writing. Where is he and his character in this story? He's so incredibly inaccessible to us. And I know people will say that characters do not have to be emotionally available to the player (which is true! A great example of this working well is Vivienne, who is warm but not directly open if befriended.) But that should then be a consistent character trait, and it's clearly not. In fact, Lucanis is incredibly declarative about his feelings for Rook romanced or not once you hit Act 3, he's just completely missing in Act 2. Which to me is a flaw in the game's structure. And that 'missing-ness' is being read as demisexuality instead of 'hey this character's writing is actually incomplete and needs restructuring and additional scenes.' Those additional scenes could very much be as awkward and non-romantic in tone as you please, but we needed more of them. Have Lucanis visit Treviso more often to do things other than drink coffee. Have him visit other locations as well! Teach Rook how to cook a local dish, the gondola fight we saw in the concept art. Deciding after the game's poor reception that a character who is clearly only 3/4s of a character, who is lacking in so much characterisation, is the demi character? That feels bad man. Demi characters should be written with just as much care and attention, should get to express themselves in as wide a variety of circumstances, show us more of themselves and how they interact with the world. The reality is that Lucanis has the weakest romance arc in the game, and posthumously attributing that to demisexuality feels like an indictment of acespec people's ability to read the room and express emotional intimacy rather than a true attempt at representing us.

Just as Cullen's heterosexuality and preference for elves and humans is in fact a game development constraint rather than a character writing decision, and Solas' heterosexuality was a result of running out of dev time to record voice lines and re-rig cutscenes, I think we should be able to acknowledge that this version of Lucanis is not a good representation of his character in multiple ways. And that is due primarily to the development cycle rather than writerly intention.

We've had beautiful slowburn romances that were also deeply affected by character trauma throughout the Bioware series. Lucanis' is (in its present state) not one of them. Leliana, Cullen, even Alistair. I think using demisexuality or even slowburn as an 'excuse' for Lucanis' incomplete character isn't a useful way to think about his writing.

Note: This post is purely about quality of writing wrt emotional intimacy. I have zero issue with virgin Lucanis and think that fits his wider writing. I also don't wish Lucanis to be someone he's not - Zevran or Davrin or some other flirty/dommy archetype. I just don't like the casual conflation of awkwardness and inexperience with asexuality. These things do go together but also I don't think we should use demisexuality as a bandaid for poor writing because it reflects poorly on our understanding of ourselves and the community.

[kindaasrikal]

I’ve talked about Kai and Morro’s similarities AND differences before, but here’s my very simple take on the whole wanting to be the green ninja thing they both desired.

Because that, despite seeming like a similarity at first, ended up being one of their most important differences.

Simply because Kai wanted to be the green ninja to protect, and Morro wanted to be the green ninja to survive.

No matter how many similarities people may draw up between the two, their differences will always be much stronger driving force between them. Mainly because all those differences stem off from the existence of Nya.

The similarities between Kai and Morro are so obvious as they both grew up as orphans, both having large egos and even larger prides, and have huge temperaments. They both desired power and they both needed respect from others.

With these similarities, you’d think the likeliness of Kai becoming just like Morro would be must larger. But it isn’t. It really isn’t bro.

And, stating it again, it’s solely because of the existence of Nya.

I’m pretty sure I’ve actually talked about this part before, but because of the existence of Nya in Kai’s life he learnt the need to protect more than the need to survive, unlike Morro. They both had nothing to their name, but only one had no one. Nya taught Kai the need to protect those who are too weak to do the same for themselves (Nya then also taught him that those who were once weak can very quickly become strong), and Nya taught Kai the importance of caring for others.

Nya ensured that Kai would never fall down the path of hate and greed because he had someone else to look out for, not just himself. Not like Morro, who had to quickly learn that if he didn’t look out for himself, it’ll be his undoing. He didn’t have, and then couldn’t afford, to care for others. He couldn’t take that risk. Didn’t want to. And so he never learnt the importance of protecting others when you have the ability too, and he never learnt how to love or care for others either.

Which is what affected their desires for the green gi so much.

Kai wanted the green gi so he would no longer be too weak to protect those he cared for. He no longer just had Nya, who was a lot more capable now, but he also had the other ninja and Wu. And slowly, he would have Lloyd too. He had people he needed to protect at all costs, and he had a duty to protect his entire planet from threats too. That’s why Kai wanted the green gi.

Morro needed the green gi to survive. He needed the green gi to prove to others that that useless street rat was capable of something and that he wasn’t one to mess around with. Morro knew that he had to survive in every situation he was thrown into. He needed that gi and that title and that power and that respect so people would be too scared of him. Because when you have power and respect, less people are likely to try mess with you.

Kai has the need to protect flowing in his damn veins. It’s quite literally one of the reasons he exists.

Morro has always wanted to survive no matter what life threw at him. It’s one of the reasons he ended up going so far to achieve what he wanted.

Which is why i also think Kai would wonder what would’ve happened to him if he didn’t have Nya, and knows he would’ve been exactly like Morro.

[mymoshangthoughts]

oki oki oki

so i love, you love, and we love the whole "everyone sees moshang except for moshang" thing, bc it's funny to have everyone else be like "ohwow those two idiots dont realize they're married huh"

but like

might i suggest the alternative?

idk i was rereading svsss and like, since the whole thing is basically shen yuan's pov and he's a relatively level headed dude, i can't help but think about the way that he looks at moshang

like, he really doesn't seem to have any idea that moshang could be a thing. from his pov, shang qinghua/airplane is a sniveling backstabbing asshole who gets what deserves and deserves quite a bit more thwacks and mobei jun is just kinda... there. like even after knowing shang qinghua for YEARS and being fairly close people who can confide in one another, shen yuan seems pretty fucking shocked when airplane jumps off a cliff to save mobei jun. from his pov, it's almost random. like "huh wow that is the weirdest thing i've seen all week, and airplane is NORMALLY very weird so like... huh???"

now by the time the airplane extras occur, shen yuan DOES seem to have some idea of moshang with his whole "youre just waiting for him to apologize and keep beating you" thing, but again, might i point you to the YEARS it took him to get to that point. having to see shang qinghua literally pull a death defying stunt to save mobei jun's life before he sees even a glimmer of moshang

like, when they were working on the mushroom together, they clearly spent a long time with each other. they had to travel together, they had to come up with plans together, they also likely just had social visits bc being the only other transmigrator in a world that is so fucking weird would definitely drive up a certain level of honesty and companionship

now again, shen yuan is lowkey the sort of guy who's like "i dont see gay themes even when they're reeeeaaalllyy obvious", especially with relation to himself (dont get me started on how one of my least fav mxtx themes, after the blatant crummy treatment of female characters, is the whole "im not GAY, gay is WEIRD, im gay FOR YOU, thats DIFFERENT" which winds up reflecting as internalized homophobia their protags), so it's possible that moshang is obvious to everyone who isnt shen yuan.

BUT I CONTEND THE OPPOSITE

as ive expressed before, i love "mobei jun is just fucking weird, demon courting isnt like that" headcanons, so what if no one knows what the fuck is happening between moshang. like they're just this super weird mismatched combination of people that everyone just kinda tilts their head at like "...huh, wouldnt expect to see those two together but whateves" and then proceed to not fucking care to know the answer

shang qinghua seems to have kept a purposeful emotional distance from... everyone (likely due to the whole "haha everyone here is gonna fucking DIE someday" thing) and as said above, even after years of a relationship with shen yuan, he doesn't seem to have talked about mobei jun to him much (who is, by airplane's own admission, the most important person to him in this world considering he's the only person that had airplane going "i mean... maybe i dont push the go home button?"). so no one really seems to give a fuck who he's hanging out with bc he's not exactly out here making friends

and mobei jun, i contend, is a weirdo outcast who does not know how to socialize bc his uncle is a dick LOL. also his father. and also his childhood. and other demons tend to look at him and go "fucking weird man... i think he keeps a human pet?? kinda weird but w/e, the emperor is into necrophilia so /shrug/"

so like, maybe if anyone paid attention to them, they might notice the signs of moshang, but because most people kinda dismiss them, no one knows

I CONTEND THAT THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES KNOW IS LUO BINGHE THO

mostly because i find it FUCKING HILARIOUS but also bc i like to think luo binghe's whole "youre not used to his lil human pet yet? he brings it everywhere smh get over yourself" thing was luo binghe's way of being a wingman lmfao. he wont actually help or offer advice or do anything USEFUL, but he'll allow them to hang out when he has every ability to separate them LOL and i think that's funny

altho i still like the idea of luo binghe ALSO not knowing that moshang is a thing pfff. but having him know also amuses me.

ANYWAY ONTO THE ACTUAL APPLICATION INTO MOSHANG IDEAS

now the use in modern au's goes without saying. the good ol' "wait, THOSE TWO ARE A THING?!" coming from everyone who knows them. as an example, some form of workplace romance and even tho moshang can always be seen together in the office, because they dont seem to get along and no one cares, everyone is just like "shrug, they have a project together idc". like they're more likely to think that shang qinghua and shen yuan are dating bc at least those two have secretive meetings and have been caught, more than once, talking about sex. then one day shang qinghua shows up to work with the biggest rock on his finger pfff and mobei jun has a matching wedding band or someshit and everyone is shocked. or even better, some of the romantic pre-relationship stuff starts happening at the office but it's all stuff that's kinda easily misunderstood. and since no one would guess THOSE TWO together romantically, they just come up with any other plausible explanation. "why did mobei jun send shang qinghua flowers? idk, maybe his mom died. should we send him flowers too?" its not even a 'it couldnt be THAT', it's a straight up 'THAT never even crossed their minds for a second' until it gets really fucking ridiculous lololol then mobei jun and shang qinghua are applying for the same days off and mu qingfeng in HR is like "oki what for" and has to NOT do a spit-take when the two of them are like "our wedding" or someshit lolol

LOOK I JUST THINK IT'S VERY FUNNY

now as for the post-canon application, i still find this IMMENSELY amusing. for the sake of my amusement, im also choosing to interpret shen yuan's "you just want an apology" statement to have been given without imagining that the two of them might like-like each other. he's just being dismissive because airplane is fucking weird. like "look, idk why you are into role-playing as a humble servant and idk if i wanna know, actually, i definitely dont wanna know. you two clearly dont even like each other but you're in some weird co-dependent mess of a... friendship? friendship seems like a strong word. point being, get out of my house"

no one has the slightest clue about moshang's feelings for one another (except maybe binghe lolol) and they are REALLY not ready for when suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, shang qinghua is sending in his two weeks notice for an ding peak bc "oh im the northern consort now lol" and everyone is trying to just understand WHEN and HOW

like people straight up being like "is this a prank? i feel like im being pranked?" and others like "oh they might have gotten like... fake married? is this an insurance scam? hmm"

and basically for the first time ever people are really trying to understand and think about moshang bc they are SO FUCKING CONFUSED. there are betting pools over what the REAL REASON behind this CLEARLY fake marriage is. luo binghe has put his bet on "they're actually in love and fr married" and people SCOFF. he's the only one betting that and wow, the demon emperor is clearly blinded by his own weird relationship and cant see that NORMALLY this sort of relationship would NEVER happen

(actually this could apply for modern au too pff whateves, im jsut having fun here)

inquiring minds just being like "shang qinghua, blink twice if you're being threatened, we can get you out of there". demons out here like "we should prrobabblyy find the cure for whatever potent love-poison that creepy lil human slipped into mobei jun's drink, or maybe a mind-control plant?"

stuck on whether i want moshang to be utterly oblivious to everyone elses skepticism bc they're just on their happy lil honeymoon stage or if i want them to find the confusion Deeply amusing.

moshang get-together being dramatic but not bc either of them are oblivious, just bc there are communication issues pff. theres no "i love you" "but you CANT love me" drama, instead its "i love you" "oh shit SWEET, lemme hop on your dick". i like the idea of moshang only struggling to understand one another when the pair of them are holding the other at arms length (mobei jun being a tsundere and airplane out here like "getting attached and taking things srsly IS THE ENEMY") but whenever theres like, a clear statement of intent, they're quick to let go of misunderstandings and just get on with it. now while i favor this interpretation of their characters, i find it PARTICULARLY funny in au's like this! bc it also means that the pair of them learned to understand all of their weird behavior as well. so they're still fucking weird around each other, so people really dont believe this is real. mobei jun is still just as likely to yeet shang qinghua into a death cave and shang qinghua is just as likely to literally hug mobei jun's thighs while pleading for mercy. it doesnt LOOK like a loving relationship to anyone with eyes LOL (not to say that they dont grow and treat each other better, but just having a deeper understanding of one another means they dont change behavior 100%)

which actually isnt why i find it funny lol, i just enjoy the subversion of expections. rather than moshang being oblivious to the point of mind-numbing hair pulling stupidity, it's the rest of the world x'D and then it's just moshang casually proving that nah, they're for real, and yep, they're super in love, to an increasingly confused audience

this could work really well in a celebrity au now that i think about it LOL bc celebs so frequently have fake relationships and hidden relationships and all that sort of weird shit and people love to speculate about it online. so just everyone being like "calling it right fucking now, this relationship is a publicity stunt" and literally NO ONE believes they're for real, even years into it LOL. im actually usually a person who really doesnt care for celebrity au's but tbh this prompt fits so well for that, so im sold

but it goes beyond just fans speculating online. even fellow coworkers are like "huh, weird choice of publicity stunt" and dont believe for one fucking second that moshang is actually happening. oki yeah im sold

shang qinghua - famous author turned screenwriter (does some directing and he's actually pretty good at it, has a cult following, but mainly he sticks to writing. he doesnt need that kind of stress in his life LOL). he's finally reached a sort of financial stability with his work, but he hasnt broken the habit of doing whatever the audience wants because "I DONT WANNA FUCKING STARVE BRO", and he's generally disheartened when his works that he puts his sincere vision into have a tendency to be SIGNIFICANTLY less popular

mobei jun - actor, specially known for stunts and action movies. doesnt actually have any history of scandals, other than it's known that he's kinda hard to work with. just kinda cold and distant. THERE ARE some lowkey scandals with his family tho. he's definitely a nepo baby of the industry and his uncle and father dont have clean reputations. mobei jun normally keeps a pretty big distance away from them so he's kinda like, in the splash zone but not dragged in.

shen yuan - long time fan of shang qinghua's work, even back when the hack of an author was just posting web novels, his favorite insult is to call him a sell-out bc very often his deepest criticisms of shang qinghua's works are clearly choices made for money. as an example, a perfectly directed film that he wrote and nearly brought shen yuan to tears and quickly became his favorite movie EXCEPT theres fucking product placement in NEARLY EVERY FUCKING SCENE and sometimes it makes the movie fucking UNWATCHABLE. anyway, shen yuan runs the fansite for shang qinghua and is a LITTLE BIT OBSESSED with his works, but still has a love/hate relationship with the whole thing

luo binghe - pop idol who sometimes does acting work. he's known as an all-around talent. his acting is just as good as his singing, if not better, and basically everything he tries to do is wildly successful and genuinely fucking good. he's insanely popular to a scary degree (shen yuan is only familiar with his work bc he's acted in some of qinghua's movies and sometimes qinghua uses his music, shen yuan has an overall favorable impression of the celebrity but no obsession. mostly a "oh nice, that actor is really good, that and THAT HACK AUTHOR directing is sure to make this a must-watch movie" type of fanning)

liu qingge - stunt man and martial artist. he's not crazy famous, he's more like "if you're really into martial arts, you've definitely heard of him" or "if you're really into stunt work, you've heard of him" famous. but if you don't have those special interests, you have no idea. he MIGHT look faintly familiar to you, but you're unlikely to put a name to the face

shen jiu - actor, many scandals, SO MANY SCANDALS. he's very successful, infamously difficult to work with, has so many accusations hurled at him (and a majority of them are true) that when you hear "omg did you hear abt shen jiu" the answer is "ohyeah, the red-light district thing?" and the reply to that is "nonono, that was LAT MONTH, im talking abt the abuse allegations that came out yesterday!" and so on and so forth. shen jiu is a hot fucking mess and the industry has NOT helped him one bit. he has the money and power to get away with being his worst self and he Does Not Fucking Care (he cares so fucking much, he's literally burning from the inside out)

yue qingyuan - childhood friends with shen jiu, kind of accidentally being an enabler of shen jiu's spiral to hell. he's a producer and he's very successful and he keeps paving the way for shen jiu to continue getting work and help to bury scandals and basically the dude is trying his best, but he really should be putting his foot down and sending his friend to rehab instead of helping him like this

sha hualing - actress, does her own stunts, very temperamental. difficult to work with in that she's a bit (a lot) of a loose canon. she's hyper capable though and VERY popular. not a ton of scandals other than some violent behavior. she's also very good at dancing, basically anything that involves moving her body, she excels. her and mobei have totally starred in action movies together where theyre basically "hot beefy action hero and sexy badass love interest". they have a casual frenemy relationship

liu mingyan - average fanfiction writer, huge fan of rpf. she is relatively untouched by her brothers fame and intends to keep it that way. that said, she's more than happy to utilize the gossip that her brother sometimes brings home to implement as 'headcanons' into her fanfics >:D she does not tell her brother about this pfff. she also does martial arts and she's very good, but she has no desire to pursue fame. the closest she gets to it is sometimes watching her brother on a set (while secretly paying attention to everyone else for rpf bait LOL). she is not a fan of the whole moshang thing because it separates her otp (mobing for life!) and she's also convinced that its CLEARLY fake

mu qingfang - doctor, just a normal doctor, no fame involved. but his guilty pleasure is that he enjoys looking at celebrity gossip while on break. it's just a very lowkey sort of cathartic drama that he has no stakes in and helps him destress from his very stressful job. he mostly just lurks, but he's been known to write the occasional comment if he feels he has some useful insight to contribute

ning yingying - over-worked office lady. she wanted to be a pop idol when she was younger but it just wasnt in the cards. now she just enjoys getting a little parasocially invested in celebrity gossip, ESPECIALLY around luo binghe bc she's a. a mega fan. b. they were actually classmates in highschool. she's a fierce defender of his online and also one of those people who gets kinda offended by rpf bc "HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT" but also hypocritically will read every single "rpf character x reader" fanfic she can get her hands on

ming fan - luo binghe's hater online. mostly because he also knew him in highschool and hated the guy and now he's ugly jealous of his success. he likes to spread mean rumors about binghe online, just to blow off some steam. but his stupid obsession with slandering his ex-classmate sort of grew into a genuine interest in celebrity gossip and now he's a bit of an internet troll who's a little too invested in this shit. he's not a complete asshole and there are lines he won't cross, buuut he's also one of those assholes who sorta feels like "its online so it doesnt count if im a huge asshole" and just is his worst self online. he constantly gets in fights with ning yingying online (without knowing its her) about luo binghe. shen yuan sometimes gets involved too bc while he's not huge into the binghe fandom (that place scares him) he IS big on fact checking and whenever ming fan says something OBVIOUSLY false, shen yuan can't help but go in for corrections

qi qingqi - actress, successful, very low drama. she's famous and well liked, no major scandals, just a successful woman with a good career.

zhuzhi-lang - works as his uncles assistant. he keeps track of online drama because its part of his job, sometimes his uncle has him spread rumors online too so he has a few alts that are believable fan accounts for various celebrities.

tianlang-jun - one of those people who's basically famous just for being famous. he has done a bit of everything, but it's mostly that he's a household name that makes him famous. he currently works as a producer because he finds it really fucking funny. but it's anyones guess when he'll get bored of this and flit off to do something else that catches his fancy

su xiyan - model and martial artist. she's mostly famous for her TURBULANT relationship with tianlang-jun. she's skilled at both her crafts and has success, but she has no real ambition for fame. also her career is often held back by the shitty people in her life (her ex-mentor being PRIME among them, the grooming old scumbag). she got pregnant with binghe very early in her career and gave him away for adoption for various reasons. she has a good relationship with his adopted mother, but she's chosen to stay out of binghe's life. tianlang-jun doesn't know binghe is his son LOL

meng mo - thinks of himself as a star-maker, he's luo binghe's manager and has a VERY high opinion of his skills bc he's had a few successful clients. he does however tend to give very bad personal life advice

yang yixuan - one of liu qingge's students. he's only passively aware of celebrity gossip, it's really not his thing, but he is a bit of a mobei jun fan. mostly bc mobei jun does his own stunts and yan yixuan can recognize the skill involved and just thinks the guy is really fucking cool (not more cool than liu qingge OBVIOUSLY but still cool). he's very disappointed to hear abt this clearly fake relationship with shang qinghua, he thought that mobei jun was above all that petty celebrity bullshit of fake relationships and tabloid bait

gongyi xiao - aspiring young actor, overall just a nice guy. no scandals, not really famous yet but he has a promising lil fanbase that is slowly growing. however, he does have a bad habit of answering too honestly while being interviewed which can inadvertently have bad consequences LOL (example: "so what do you think of this moshang thing?" "hm, i mean, it really surprised me? seemed out of nowhere haha, i guess good for them??" which quickly spirals into "omg gongyi xiao CLEARLY knows it's fake! he cant lie for shit! THIS IS BASICALLY EVIDENCE")

qin wanyue - binghe fan, terminally parasocial, lives off of rpf fanfiction, literally missed her younger sisters funeral to attend a binghe concert, probably needs professional help like yesterday. when the online conversations of moshang start involving binghe, she gets VERY FUCKING UPSET

little palace mistress - nepo baby pop idol. very obsessed with binghe but also in a love/hate sort of way bc he doesnt do what she WANTS him to do and she craves the obedience. she takes out her impudent rage online. she's a big mobei jun hater bc she saw the mobing conspiracies before moshang happened AND SHE SAW RED. she now wants moshang to crash and burn bc she hates mobei jun with an irrational passion. she is doing her best to sabotage whatever stupid publicity stunt this is

(ships: moshang, bingyuan, liujiu, mingling)

moshang had their own super slowburn romance of actor x director that happened over the course of years and the mutual pining was basically killing them both and they had their own dramatic love confessions and shit, but it all happened behind closed doors so no one knows any of that. all they know is that this relationship Makes No Sense and internet sleuths are very invested with UNCOVERING THE TRUTH

[dock57]

Do I Choose to be Embarrassing Today? Perhaps.

[Well, possibly embarrassing for me to say out loud. I am, a shy fan, not going to lie- so often I don't really post a lot about what I love about a series. I often sit in the back, trying to find the perfect moment to escape through the back door before anyone can see how flustered I can get. This blog is the first fan blog I have ever made.

Anyway, this was not exactly what I was planning on talking about today, but, now its on my mind, consuming it.

Monkey Wrench is an adult show. An adult show I appreciate that gives us characters I would absolutely take on a date as well. I am a hopeless romantic...

So where am I going with this? I'm going to list what I find attractive, like, and reasons why I would date Beebs or Shrike.

Only those two, because they're the ones I would date the most. Everyone has their different tastes and attractions, so don't think I am saying that the others are not dateable, that would be a lie. Just two are my taste.

Shrike still needs work, let's be honest. I do mean in character development as well. Shrike as I would describe right now is going through his "rebellious" phase at a later age. He's the type I would be interested in, but, would really encourage to clean up his act before he considers a deeper bond, no one is going to fix him, that's his own work, and he needs to realize that before he thinks of going into a committed relationship. If he does.

The funny thing about my interest in Shrike- is that physical appearance wise- I am not really attracted to. I like to call Shrike my only "Twink Husband." Because he is. Though, I also would not really call him a typical twink either- A twink is more than just the looks.

Really it is Shrike's character that attracts me.

Shrike is humorous. Yes as a character he is supposed to be. He does end up usually being the one to be the end of a joke. I know there are times when Shrikes tries to be funny, and times when he is not- but I cannot help but to find Shrike cute when he is accidently funny. I find most of the time that Shrike focuses too hard on being someone he is not- and the times when he is more himself, are the times I think that when he is funny- in a good way. I mean let's be honest, anyone who is being themselves, is way better than being who they are not, especially if being themselves is harmless. I also would like to add that Shrike can make some pretty funny jokes at time. I think of the one when Beebs and Shrike are caught up by everyone in Ghost Egg at the Shuttle Station. I know there might be better examples, but I find what he said here to be funny to me.

I also need to add this part when they arrive to the station and Shrike is strolling along like this. In general, Shrike is just a goofy fellow, sometimes I wonder if he knows that.

2. I love when he is passionate about what he loves. This can be done to an extreme, but I think Shrike's passion is just the right amount of being healthy. I love how Shrike is passionate about what he holds close to him- I like that in people. I think not having a deep passion in interests can be a bit concerning, as I feel like that there could be an issue of being passionate to another as well. I enjoy the moments when Shrike speak about his interests and the excitement in his voice for them. I think that Shrike can also slowly learn to become passionate for others in their interests, even at the end of Us & Them when Shrike tries to attempt to play his acoustic guitar again for Beebs.

3. Is Shrike caring? Its in process. Shrike is considered to be selfish and pretty irresponsible. This is something I cannot turn blind to. He uses the company's money on irresponsible costs such as the Bucket becoming red, and of course blowing it at the Casino.As for being selfish, it usually is for when he looking for any opportunity to get money, which, doing favors and expecting money from it, is a selfish desire. Such as when in Us & Them, they response to the distress call. Beebs says "We should check it out-" Shrike points to Beebs' wrist and says "There could be money in it for us~"

You can also say he is selfish in Lythop Liberation as well, as Shrike only seem to start going after Dr. Agnes after she throws his Ship. As he does say "Grind up an entire species on your own time! But when you wreck MY ship... IT GETS PERSONAL!" Though, at the same time, Shrike does care about them being grinded beforehand as well as Shrike does shout out "WH-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN'?" after they were put in the blender. This is why I say he is caring, but in process- it is definitely something he is starting to develop. I think Shrike is a caring person but does not show it really from the outside. I think he does it more through motives. I mean, I would love to do a post more in-depth about this scene in particular, but

The tension, the expression. This is what I mean when I think Shrike does care. He does try to help. But, he doesn't always make the right choice to do so. Shrike does respect Beebs and really has shown to care about him. Even earlier in the episode in Plague Walkers when Shrike is at the bar with Ricket- he only praised Beebs.

I believe that Shrike can become a caring person, I think as of right now, he needs the right push and motivation to do so. So although a process, a caring guy? Who starts to think about others and their interests too? Yeah I think that's a good trait to have.

As of right now, Shrike is a loser. A very lovable loser. One who I also love because I think Shrike might be the type to reflect on himself as time goes on and be open to change as it continues in the series.

Or, that's what I wish for- who knows?

Well then you have Beebs.

Beebs is definitely more of my type when it comes to physical attraction. I like the bigger guys, but its so rare to find good ones in media...

I appreciate Monkey Wrench for going with the approach of Beebs not being the stereotype for fat characters, especially fatter males. Usually they're the ones to be the joke in the end of the day, and not good jokes I might add, usually referring to their shape. Other times, usually fatter males are also just either the evil character arch types or the annoying ones, making them even more unappealing.

So Beebs is such a nice fresh of breath air from media. I have no idea if the creators were even trying, but they did make Beebs attractive, and as I said, not just physically, but as a character as well. I am so glad that Beebs breaks the norm for fatter males.

Oh that's a Caring man, all right. Oh we all know that Beebs is caring, as well as being sentimental. There are so many examples where Beebs shows it. Even if Norbert was annoying, Beebs cared about how they present themselves to him, especially when Shrike was threating to shoot him- Beebs tried to be reasonable and take the time to understand Norbert. Of course in Lythops Liberation, we know he cares about those little guys and what happened to Punti. We know even in Us & Them, that Beebs through out the whole episode tried so hard to think about others, not just their wellbeing but even their feelings as well.

Even though Us could have propose as a threat, Beebs took the time to know them first before making a judgement call- he tries to see the best in everyone. He cares to listen first, he cares about others and shows it through words and actions as well. I love that so much in a man- I think that's something everyone can agree is something that everyone should be.

2. Strong. I know I know, a overrated one. But look, I love me a strong man, especially when the strong type is. done right. I am not going to go over in details about how being physically strong in media is portrayed often incorrectly. Because what we are taught to be "strong" is not the strong you want. Now, will say that not all larger males are just magically strong, its a combination that often overlook. Beebs is the combination of fat and muscle that actually creates a strong character physically. He is what strong is. Of course he is strong as well when it comes to mentally. I give Beebs an applaud for not losing it yet... I bet it is exhausting. He has a good head on his shoulders and manages to keep it together in the most stressful of situations. But he also is strong when it comes to not reacting as well, or returning a reaction. Such as in Plague Walkers when Ajax wanted Beebs to turn back for what he said about his mother- and I KNOW Beebs was really the urge, he still managed to walk away and leave until Ajax comes after him. Though, every strong man- I hope knows- need a time to break down and let it out too...

You Know- You Know...

3. Responsible. And a good thing to counter Shrike who right now- is not. Really who doesn't like a responsible person? Not just getting tasks done, but even when it comes to admitting their mistakes, flaws, or actions. Beebs has been through a lot, and although he is not sure where he fits in the galaxy, Beebs has learn a lot already. From what I watch, I think Beebs has experience of what its like to see when his actions catch up, or when to take up on a task and not. He also questions or steps in when he knows what should be done and not, such as when Dr. Agnes blended the Lythops. Even though Mercs are not suppose to ask questions, Beebs definitely knows when its time to step in and decide between what is morally right and wrong. It is a bit hard to say what happened to Beebs and in his past, but he definitely carries whatever he did with regret, and knows that even he's not 100% clean himself. For all we know, he might be wanting to try and kindle that past, or not, even if running away can be seen as irresponsible, I think Beebs had a good reason, and a reason that may have been a question of moral choices. I think what I am trying to say is that, I find that Beebs is self aware of his own character and is also trying to improve himself as well. Beebs know he is flawed, and is trying to work on himself as well. I like that in a guy...

Beebs also has some work to do, but at least he is aware of it. Still though, I love Beebs and how they did such a good job at making him attractive, despite not being the particular and common types that would draw attention. Beebs is attractive for overall just being a really well thought out character who has good morals and traits, something that be rare to find...

Well, that was a long post. I'm going to now hide behind this screen by putting Tumblr off to side where I can't see it for now. Hope you guys, enjoy! And tell me if there is anything else that you guys think also makes them dateable...]

[thebreakfastgenie]

I'm not telling anyone to shut up or silencing anyone. I know my post was vague, I elaborated in the notes which you would not have seen. My issue is not with women sharing their experiences, it's with the tone that has developed in this conversation. If we have numbers on how often the pain of insertion is bad enough to be described as torture, I haven't seen them, but I'd be surprised if it was anywhere close to a majority. Women should be prepared for the possibility of significant pain, but having the procedure described as torture and being told not to believe anyone who describes is any other way isn't helpful or accurate.

I have an iUD. My insertion wasn't nightmarish, but it was bad. I did okay for a while, but the end the sensation of the speculum was unbearable. I was whimpering in pain and my OB/GYN said later "I know the insertion wasn't easy for you." This surprised me, because while it was bad, I didn't think it was a big deal. A lot of medical procedures involve short-term discomfort or pain. I don't expect everyone to feel the way I do, my approach and also my idea of what constitutes a difficult medical procedure are a bit non-normative because I experience as a cardiology patient. But I want to be clear that I'm coming at this with firsthand experience. My first two pap smears were extremely bad, and I'd actually consider the second one a more painful experience overall than the IUD insertion. I'm very aware of how fraught gynecological care can be. And honestly, I'd do the IUD insertion again before I'd do getting my wisdom teeth out or having braces again, and those are fairly common experiences. Obviously everyone is different, just providing a reference.

Most of what people say about IUD insertion I agree with. There needs to be a better protocol for the procedure itself. I was given a medication to soften my cervix ahead of the insertion and also instructed to pre-medicate with ibuprofen and I believe both helped significantly. There isn't a "standard" protocol, so some providers don't pre-medicate. I think pain relief options should be available, even though I personally would not use them. Providers are not always honest with patients and don't always give them accurate expectations for what the experience may be like. Minimizing the pain is far too common. That being said, sometimes I think women assume the "just a little pinch" description is universal, and it's not.

Because I agree with all of this, I don't usually complain about the "thing" I referred to in the original post. But recently I feel like I've reached in tipping point in what I'm seeing of this conversation, where instead of helping women make informed decisions and prepare themselves for the experience the overall tone is increasing fear and anxiety to an extent that discourages women from going through with the procedure at all. I saw someone describe an IUD as "women's pain" on twitter today, which struck me in a strange and unpleasant way, because my IUD means freedom from the pain I was previously experiencing almost every month. I don't want the narrative to be dominated by the insertion to the exclusion of the 8 years of contraception and in most cases reduction or cessation of periods. I also think people who had the worst experiences are the most likely to share them online and I'm concerned about women getting a skewed idea of how common the most severe pain is. I'm particularly concerned about this because it's happening in an environment that is already discouraging women from using birth control. There are tons of influencers telling young women hormonal birth control will ruin their body, make them sick and harm their mental health and do a million other awful things. A lot of women do have bad experiences with birth control pills ("the pill" is actually a lot of different pills with different doses of estrogen and progestin, just because one doesn't work doesn't mean the pill isn't an option for you, this has been a PSA) and should be allowed to discuss them, but I'm also not going to support framing it "as the pill is horrible" even if that is an individual woman's real experience, because I think we need to be cognizant of right wing fear-mongering about birth control. This is in a political climate where many women in the US no longer have access to legal abortion and the government in power wants to further restrict reproductive freedom.

There's a huge variation in how different bodies handle things like pap smears and IUD insertions. There's not enough acknowledgement or understanding of it, because the medical establishment is systemically misogynist and issues that affect primarily women don't get enough attention. We should be working to change that and IUD insertion is part of that conversation but I want it to be a productive conversation, not one that makes an already stressful process scarier. That's what I was venting about. I'm not coming onto random women's posts about their bad experiences and telling them they're helping Republicans by talking about their lives.

Okay I’m about ready to say I’m opposed to the whole “IUD insertion is horribly painful” thing. I keep seeing examples of women saying they’re terrified before their appointments and I think there’s a very really concern that talking about it this way will scare women off.

[typewritingyip]

Arcturus Three

Part One - Introductions

———

In 1975, nine years before the Quintesson invasion, it was the waning years of the space race between the United States and the USSR. Not long after the end of the Vietnam war came the Apollo-Soyuz Test Project, where both major space programs attempted to dock together for the first time. After it’s success came further joint missions and projects to be had in what was dubbed space stations. 

It wouldn’t be until after the end of the Cold War and war against the Quintisons had started that the then American Vice-President and Russian Prime Ministers would make plans for a new space station after the previous failed attempts, this would come to be known as the International Space Station. 

The ISS sits in a low Earth orbit, intending to be a laboratory, observatory and factory along with roles that were added in 2010. 

It’s initial intentions would be adjusted to fill the need of the different mech based organizations on Earth attempting to retrieve data from the alien invaders, to decipher where they were coming from or at the very least what they are. These attempts have so far been limited in success. 

Six mecha pilots have attempted to follow the stream of data received by the ISS from the unknown invaders to potentially end this decades long conflict. All six pilots have lost contact with Earth. Another ten pilots are scheduled to follow the same data in the next five years. 

Pilot(s): 3141, 6986, 17741 for Arcturus Three, plus medical officer RH.

Pilot(s): 12437 for Arcturus Four, solo mission.

Pilot(s): 555, 1060, 4341, 17740, and 3113 in suit eleven for Arturus Five, the last projected mission.

—

Two Years Post Arcturus One - One Year Post Arcturus Two

The pilots were sitting backstage, leaning around a small table talking quietly, “I mean, there has to be something they aren’t telling us.” Sitting back, the pilot lightly scratches at his implants, it was a habit most pilots who’d nearly faced rejection picked up after a while, “I mean no offense, but I thought we were all told that our seniority would be the judge of these missions.” Nodding some, another one of the pilots sighs, “We were initially told that, yes, but certain things must be accounted for.” The other pilot threw his hands up lightly.

They all were staring at each other, they couldn’t help it, “Alright, I’m not the only one who thinks it’s weird that this mission has me, one of the designers of our suits, the best female pilot on the planet, and supposedly a medical officer.” He kicked his feet up on the table, sending the tablets and papers on it flying.

He winced, “Uh, sorry, but seriously. This can’t be a normal mission, not like Arcturus one or two. I still don’t think we know all the details for those either.” Finally, one of the other pilots leaned forward, “No one is making you do this Roddy.” The other pilot grins before shrugging slightly, “Think of this as an adventure.” Then another pilot then spoke up as well, “A mission where it is likely you’ll be able to catch fire as often as you desire.” He chuckled at his own joke.

“Now that sounds like fun.” ‘Roddy’ had a killer smile and was unafraid to display it. 

—

The media room was packed with reporters, as it always was for any mecha announcement but another packed room because it was combined with a NASA announcement. As per-usual, Swindle was wearing his overly charming smile while some government schmuck was talking the ears off the reporters. 

It was almost easy to zone out, to remember the past and how the fight felt in those earlier years that these government geeks loved to reminisce on. Like the one next to him was currently doing, hemming and hawing over details that 99.9% of people didn’t care about. 

Sighing deeply, Swindle shifts forward in his seat, “I am sorry to interrupt you Rick, but uh, we do in fact have a time frame to fit into, so if we could wrap up the science and make way for the pilots that would be great.” The NASA expert, Richard something, quickly shut up.

Scratching lightly at his jaw, Swindle smiles his award winning smile and stands, adjusting the microphone, “Well, it’s good to see all your familiar faces again. Welcome back to the Kennedy Space Center, we’ve got some exciting news for today.” Several hands were already in the air, but he elected to ignore them, “We have the absolute pleasure of introducing the crew of Arcturus Three and their spacecraft the Iliad, which yes, I know that was supposed to come before the Odyssey but we didn’t think we’d go with the mythology aspect till after the first shuttle was painted.” A few reporters chuckle and others keep their hands up.

It took a moment for him to take a breath and gesture to one of the reporters with their hand up, “You,” she smiles and stands, “Lillian Carmichael, The Wall Street Journal, are you going to talk about the loss of pilot 2672?” Nodding slowly, Swindle takes a breath, “His call sign was Cliffjumper, that was his name, not his number Lillian. They are people who are giving their lives for our planet, there is no greater sacrifice. So, no, we aren’t going to talk about Cliff cause his family will be watching this broadcast and it’s hard enough to miss him then to hear us talk about his sacrifice as if it meant nothing.” Clearing his throat a bit, he nods.

“Now, we’re here today to introduce the crew of Arcturus Three and their spacecraft.” He smiles and steps to the side, a projection lighting up behind him, “Meet the Iliad, the newest version of NASA’s space shuttle.” It looked nothing like the space shuttle and looked much more like something that would attach to the international space station, “Richard, you know more details on this.” Sitting back down, Swindle adjusted his hat. 

This state of the art spacecraft was designed specifically for the transportation of mech suits and the study of the foreign enemy, from space of course. Swindle would not let another good pilot die cause they sent them up there with little to nothing. 

The Iliad would be sent up initially in pieces, which would come together to reform the outer structure of the ship. Those pieces would remain in orbit where the rocket would be able to connect it and the suits necessary for the mission, while propelling the entire structure out into space. The pilots wouldn’t go up with the pieces, just their suits and the initial shuttle, it would give them more maneuverability in the long run and something for Mecha to maintain contact with when all the pilots kicked the bucket, again. 

It was a horrible thought, Swindle knew this but what other choice did any of them have at this point? These things were getting bigger and badder, and in the two years since Arcturus One the number had gone up by another thousand pilots. Most of them died in compatibility testing in other countries, but that didn’t take away from the fact that there were another thousand dead pilots and nearly another million civilians. 

The man from NASA lightly cleared his throat,  “Sir?” “Hmm?” Glancing back up, Swindle smiles, “Oh, my turn again? Great.” He stands back up, smiling brightly and adjusting his suit jacket.

”Ladies and gentlemen, now I have the absolute pleasure of introducing you to our pilots for Arcturus Three!” The door to the side of the stage opens and he extends an arm, grinning as each pilot comes out to their name. “Pilot 3141, callsign Perceptor. Pilot 6986, callsign Hot Rod. Pilot 17741, callsign Arcee. Along with their medical officer, code name Ratchet.” The four people come up to the stage and take their seats, dressed in NASA gear. 

—

Swindle was talking on and on, about the differences for this mission and how nothing like Arcturus Two would happen to this group and blah blah blah. 

Currently, Jesse was twirling a pen through his fingers, running his tongue along his teeth and very clearly bored. A few reports snapped pictures, which he was almost smiling for without even trying. His look was very reminiscent of IceMan from Top Gun in that moment, bored and full of potential.

The female pilot to his right was quick to snatch the pen from his hands, whispering harshly, “Would you stop that? This is a press conference.” Cecilia put the pen back on the table, just out of his reach with a scowl, “We’re meant to look professional.” Jesse tried not to smirk, whispering back, “Yeah, I don’t think you reprimanding me is helping that case much Arcee.” She went to open her mouth again before just scowled and shifted her attention back to the speaker from NASA.

Now there was a pilot who knew what she was doing, Arcee had come to the program more recently than most. At least more than those still alive. She had made waves protecting Washington DC and the Chesapeake area in the last four years, for a lot of people it was like she had come out of nowhere. 

Those in the program had known her and her mentor for longer, though she was young, too young to get the implants up until a few years ago. Now, she was leading in this year's kill count, even as others were falling and the survival rate of pilots was dropping. Originally, she wasn’t scheduled for an Arcturus Mission till the fifth one, but certain securities must be taken.

Afterall, you needed someone who knew how to fly that was mentally stable enough to do it. 

Preceptor was the only other pilot on the stage and he was taking notes of everything that the engineer from NASA was saying, biting the end of the pen every time the speaker took a breath. He’d worked on this project from both sides and was keeping track of what was being said, compared to what was actually happening. The man from NASA wasn’t entirely accurate. 

It still dragged on before questions were finally allowed to be asked, at which point Swindle stood, “Let’s stick to the guidelines people, you know what you can ask the pilots and what you can’t. Keep it PG if you can.” Most of the reporters laughed, not realizing the last bit was for the pilots on the stage. 

Several hands went in the air and questions were being shouted in every direction, “Hot Rod, why did you sign up for Arcturus?” “Preceptor, Sir, why have you decided to become a full time pilot?” “Arcee, what do you think the commander will think of this change of schedule?” “Hot Rod, are you sad your other group mate Springer is not on the register for these missions?” “Arcee, are you prepared to fly such an experimental spacecraft?” “Preceptor, why do you think you’re going on this specific mission?” And they went on. 

—

The workshop was dark except for an area in the corner, where an older man was working by the light of a desk lamp, a large wrench was leaned against his chair and his hair was tinted with grey.

Swindle closes the door with a bang, hands in his pockets as he starts over, “You were missed at the press conference.” The older man grunted in response, rolling his chair back while lifting the obscenely large wrench, moving over to another workbench and turning on a small lamp there. 

It left a soft glow on his scowling face, sighing, he looked up, “What do you want, Swindle?” Smiling, Swindle heads over slowly. The whole space was generally kept tidy but lately it looked like a bull had been let loose in the china shop, “Just to talk about Arcturus Three.” Ratchet groaned.

”I don’t know why you keep pestering me about the project, and honestly I don’t appreciate you interrupting my work.” Swindle lightly kicked something out his way, humming, “Because you’re a part of the crew for this mission Ratchet. You know that.” Ratchet set the wrench on the table, likely so he didn’t swing it at Swindle’s head. 

Moving over, Swindle leans against the edge of the desk, “You know why you have to go Doc.” Ratchet scowls and glares at Swindle, “Shouldn’t it have been my choice?” Smiling sadly, Swindle shrugs a bit, “It would have been, had you not taken that thing into your little workshop here.” There was an angry rev from the dark corner of the shop, Swindle loosely waves his hand, “Oh shut up you overgrown pile of bolts. Look, the only safe place for that thing—““His name is Deadlock.” Standing, Ratchet jabbed a finger at his chest. 

With a nod, Swindle removes his hand and scratches at his old implants, they’d been capped years ago but still would itch with scaring, “The only safe place for him is as far from Shockwave as he can be, we both know this.” Slowly, he lowers himself onto a nearby stool.

Ratchet stared and shook his head, “He’s been plenty safe here.” Swindles laughs, “Has been and will be are two entirely different statements and you down well know it. If Shockwave gets so much as a whiff of him, he’ll do worse than dissect him, he’ll dissect you for protecting him. And we both know I can’t stop him.” He adjusts his blazer slightly, shaking his head.

Swindle had tried to fire the psychopath more than once, on a number of grounds, even his own torture but the congressman was far to popular and the government footed to much of the bill. His constituents footed most of the bill. Sure, not having to worry about putting his own money into the company made him a bit more at ease but that didn’t take away whatever the hell Shockwave was. 

“Shockwave wants to move into a bigger lab space and we’ve bought the plot next door, there is no way your friend there would be safe and I think it’s best if we stuck with human technology torturing us all. Not whatever the hell he is.” There was another angry rev, though it sounded much more like a growl. Swindle nodded slightly and put his hat back on, “Plus, Roddy is going on this mission. It’s starting to get around that you and him have grown close because of experimental tech.” Ratchet’s eyes widened and he glanced towards Deadlock, hidden in alt mode in the dark. 

Taking a breath, Ratchet looks back, “So, you’re launching me into space to face certain doom then?” Swindle shakes his head, “I’m sending you after who we’ve lost.” With a scoff, Ratchet stands and heads back to his other work space, “I can’t believe this.” Swindle followed, “Neither of you are safe if you stay.” The growling started back up, accompanied by a voice, “I can keep us safe.” Swindle glared at the car, “Like hell you can! Not against a man who has been working on the mecha program longer than most pilots have been alive!” He turns back to Ratchet. 

A loud bang drew Swindle’s eyes back to Ratchet, who had slammed his project against the table, “We can handle that threat.” Swindle laughed, pulling at his hair peeking out from under his hat, “You can’t. This is the man that convinced Blurr back into a suit, the reason why Vortex is the way he is, and a monster unafraid to do whatever it takes to reach his fucking monsterous goals!” He jabs a finger into Ratchet’s chest, “He wants all of us dead Ratchet! He doesn’t even see it that way, but he is willing to kill every living thing to end this war!” He grabs Ratchet’s shoulders and starts shaking him.

The sound of grinding metal and shifting gears was loud, but Swindle didn’t let go of Ratchet, “He will kill you and that thing that is your friend if you don’t go! And I won’t let him kill the one person who tried to save us!” Trying to catch his breath, Swindle stared at Ratchet’s wide eyes, “Rusty, I can’t let him kill you. I owe you my life and I will fulfill my debts.” Ratchet rolled his eyes slightly before resting a hand on Swindle’s shoulder, “Alright, alright.” He sighed slowly, letting go of Ratchet and taking a step back, adjusting his blazer.

Turning, he could have shit his pants as something almost as big as a modern mech glared down at him.

Ratchet’s hand came down and rested on Swindle’s shoulder, “Relax kid, he’s just trying to protect us in his typical asshole kinda way.” The thing growled again, “Like I said, in his asshole kinda way. Breathe and go back to recharge.” It grumbled before turning back into a, well, it looked like an EMT chase vehicle. 

Nodding slowly, Swindle sighed, “We both know Shockwave would want his hands on that kind of—“”You say technology and he will shoot you.” Nodding again, Swindle adjusted his hat before looking back to Ratchet, “You fly in a year’s time. I can get him up on part of the Iliad as soon as next month, but it does need to happen.” Ratchet sighed and nodded, “We’ll talk about it later.” Swindle nodded before starting back towards the door, touching his implants briefly, “I meant it Ratchet, I owe you a debt and this is how it’s going to be paid.” Then he left. 

—

It was late and the warehouse was empty except for a few pilots and their mechs being fitted with new gear, but that would start in the morning. At the moment, Hot Rod, Arcee, and Preceptor were sitting around a small table eating take out. 

Jesse was once again twirling around what he was holding, though this time it was a chopstick, “I want to know why they have sent five people on this mission and with one missing our mission isn’t potential recovery.” Cecilia sighs before shaking her head, “Cliff is gone Roddy and I don’t think anything is going to bring him back.” Percy hummed, setting down his food for a moment. 

It took a moment for him to figure out how to phrase what he was going to say kindly, “Cliffjumper was a strong pilot but not one built for solo missions, I think sending him on Arcturus Two was their easiest way of getting rid of the problem child.” Jesse snorted and Cecilia hit his shoulder, he deserved that.

”I’m being serious Percy, Cliff is either dead or wishing he was, and I don’t wish that on anyone.” They fell quiet for a moment, Percy picking his food back up and Roddy stabbing his chopsticks into the sushi on the table.

A door across the hanger from them banged open and a familiar face came strolling in, white coat a stark contrast to the dark space as always, Jesse looked up and grinned, “Ratchet, come on, we got your favorite.” He moved over slowly and grabbed one of the chairs, turning it before sitting in it with the back of it against his chest and grabbing his takeout container, “Thanks kid.” Percy smiled a bit, “It was Jesse’s idea for us to do this tonight.” Rusty hummed.

It had been two years to the day since the launch of Arcturus One, one year since Arcturus Two and a year from this day would be their own launch. 

Jesse popped a piece of sushi in his mouth and started talking, “So, why the four of us? I mean, I know Springer wasn’t found compatible for this specific mission but I know some of Breakdown’s brothers wanted to go. We all know Aid’ was supposed to be on this mission, but uh,” They all shifted a bit uncomfortably, “And Jazz’s brother wanted on but he got stuck with like, Arcturus Five, right?” Cecilia nodded, sighing. 

Clearing her throat, Cecilia sat forward, “We know why suit eleven isn’t going,” “It’s too heavy for the Iliad to carry it up.” Percy nodded slightly and Arcee rolled her eyes, “As for everyone else, I don’t think we’re going to know. I think we’re just going to be kept in the dark on that front.” Jesse rolled his eyes and Rusty nodded.

The older man sat forward, “I think dwelling on who could have been on this mission is the wrong move, we can see who is going to be on it and now we’ve got to figure out not only how to work together but how to understand each other.” Percy nodded and Cecilia shifted a bit in her seat.

Pilots were not team players typically, not since, well, regardless they weren’t team players anymore. 

“I still think it needs to be said and asked, why us?” Roddy gestured around with his chopstick, which he went back to twirling through his fingers. They all glanced at each other and honestly, none of them knew why this group was paired together.

Cecilia shifted again, “Well, I’m the only one who knows how to fly, so that’s a bit of a given. Ratchet is medical as well as he can work with Preceptor, the Iliad is an experimental spacecraft.” Percy nodded, “Very experimental.” She smiled a bit and looked back to Jesse, “So the only one in question is you Roddy.” He was quick to throw a potsticker at her, “Can it Arcee, who asked you?” Ratchet chuckled, “You did.” “Oh shut up.” He was pouting now. 

Rain started to hit the metal roof, leaving a soft ringing sound throughout the hanger space. Three suits against the wall with tool boxes around them and supplies across the way; new seals, paint, and upgraded tech were all called for. Soon, three of the four of them would have to go through the next steps for their suit upgrades with the upgrades to their integrated tech, even before the NASA training would even start. 

It was daunting and scary, but in the moment of the four of them sitting around a commandeered workbench covered in takeout, talking like tomorrow would be the same as any other day gave them all some bit of relief. 

They would take off three years to the day from Arcturus One.

One year, counting down to July 10th 2016. 

———

A/N

So here is the something different! Now, this series is going to be 5 parts, compared to Arcturus Two’s single part which was logs from MECHA databases.

To clarify, Jesse is Hot Rod, Cecilia is Arcee, Percy is well Percy, and Rusty is Ratchet. The old man of the group.

This also confirms the timeline! Which originally before I fucked up the way space time works, I wanted this series to take place in 2004. I messed up and the current point in Arcturus One is them in 2014. They took off in mid 2013.

We will go back to our regularly scheduled programming, in which I continue to just try and keep writing and not lose inspiration.

Tags!

@lunarlei68 @whirlywhirlygig @loop-hole-319 @pixillandjester @alek-the-witch @not-a-moose-in-disguise @goddessofwind8water @neurologicalglitch @dersereblogger @pixel-transformers @mrcrayonofdoom @wireplaces @twilightfreefaller @original-blog-name-2 @devilangel657 @robbin-u @childofprimus @miniartistme @starwold @tea-enthusiasm @valeexpris606 @celticdoggo @bird599 @agentsquirrelsgotrobots @aquaioart @dimencreasatlas @thatwandercat @artdagz @seisha974 @starscreamloverfr @halenhusky309 @leethepiper @cat-cassette @blue-wrens @sirassban @astridkolch @cosmique-oddity @garbageenthusiast @osqindaxend @xervias @azulabutterfly @fryseem @spring-mc @echo-circuit @aghostsnail @wooblewooble @ask-glory-haddock-and-others @nonsscarpheap @magichats @iminahole247 @omgflyingderpywhale @pour1tin @thetrexartist @naaaafam

As always, I want to thank @keferon for this amazing AU and just giving us generally free rein.

[supernotnatural2005]

Sexual Encounters with Dean Winchester - Wax Play

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: You and Dean explore a new kink together.

Word Count: 2.8k

Prompt: Wax Play

Warnings: Smut!!! (18+ ONLY!!!) - Like heavy smut! Fluff, swearing, kinks.

AN: So here is my first @jacklesversebingo submission of the year. It's a wild one y'all 😅. I've never written anything like this or have much knowledge on this kink/act at all, so I hope I've done it justice? Anywho, I'm thinking of making this part of an anthology type series, exploring other kinks with Dean? Let me know if that would be something you'd like to see? And as always, feedback is much appreciated. Hope you enjoy ❤️

Masterlist

Dean liked to think he knew his way around a bedroom. He’d tangled in enough sheets with enough women—different shapes, sizes, ethnicities—to know he wasn’t just good at it; he was damn good.

He was open to trying new things, within reason, of course. For Dean, sex was fun, plain and simple. It was meant to be enjoyed by both parties, and he took pride in being a generous lover. Give as much as you take—that was his motto.

A big part of the thrill for him was seeing the effect he had: the way a woman would arch her back, cry out his name, or completely unravel under his touch. That was the payoff, the proof he was doing something right.

Men who didn’t care about that. Who saw sex as one-sided or selfish? Dean didn’t think they deserved the title of “man.” End of story.

But every now and then, someone came along who surprised him. Someone who didn’t just match his energy but pushed it further. Someone who flipped the script.

That’s where you came in.

“You’ve met your match” had never felt truer. You weren’t just bold; you were a deviant. An instigator of all things sinful and unholy. And God help him, it was the sexiest thing he’d ever experienced.

Forget Rhonda Hurley and those pink satin panties—hell, that was child’s play compared to you. You were on a whole other level.

And tonight? Tonight was a perfect example.

Dean lay sprawled out before you, gloriously naked, his body taut and on full display, tied to all four corners of the bed. His ankles were secured with two of the ties he usually reserved for playing FBI agent, while his wrists were bound with leather handcuffs you’d bought specifically for tonight.

The restraints were snug—tight enough to keep him from moving much but loose enough for him to break free if he really wanted to. Not that he seemed interested in trying.

And then there was you.

You stood at the foot of the bed, a vision of temptation wrapped in matching red lace lingerie that clung to your curves like a second skin. Stockings hugged your legs, held up by a delicate garter belt, while a pair of black high heels elevated the look—literally and figuratively. The shoes made your legs seem like they stretched on forever, and judging by the way Dean’s gaze tracked every inch of you, he clearly noticed.

Your hair was styled to perfection, soft curls framing your face, and your makeup was sultry, smoky, and intentional. Everything about you tonight was deliberate, designed to captivate him completely.

And judging by the way he tugged lightly against the restraints, his green eyes darkened with need, you knew you’d succeeded.

His cock twitched to full mast against his stomach at just the mere sight of you. 

You rounded the bed after securing his right foot to the post, your nails trailing a slow, deliberate path up his leg. His breath hitched at the sensation, his chest rising and falling in shallow movements as his lust-filled gaze followed you like a predator tracking prey.

Your crimson lips curled into a wicked smile, your eyes raking over him, spread out and utterly at your mercy. The way you looked at him—like he was your last, most indulgent meal—sent a shiver racing down his spine. It was intoxicating, knowing your hunger for him mirrored the desire burning hot and heavy in his own chest.

Without a word, you climbed onto the mattress, every movement deliberate. His gaze dropped to your chest, and a low, guttural moan escaped him as he caught the way your breasts strained against the lace cups, threatening to spill free with every shift. Crawling toward him on your hands and knees, you were a vision of sin, and he was utterly powerless to do anything but drink you in.

You stopped when you reached him, and swung your leg over so you were straddling his stomach, avoiding his aching cock completely. He couldn’t help but whine at the feel of your heat touching his skin, wishing you’d just slip a little lower so he could really feel you. 

“You’re sure you’re still up for this?” You asked softly, leaning down so your breasts brushed against his chest, surrounding him in the intoxicating scent of your perfume.

Your smile was teasing, playful, but your eyes held a quiet seriousness. Dean knew, without a doubt, that if he told you to stop, you would. No questions asked. That trust was sacred—whether it was out in the field with monsters or here in the heat of passion. You had his back, always.

“One hundred percent.” He replied without hesitation, his voice steady, even as his body betrayed the nervous excitement coursing through him.

You grinned, your gaze shimmering with an unspoken promise of everything you had planned. “And your safe word?” You hummed, letting your lips ghost over his, teasingly close.

Dean instinctively leaned in, chasing your mouth, but you pressed him back with a firm hand on his chest.

“Impala.” He said, the word rolling off his tongue without a second thought. It wasn’t the first time he’d needed a safe word with you, though he’d only used it once—a night so wild, even his memory of it felt electric. His thoughts flickered briefly to that moment, only to be ripped back to the present by the sharp pinch of his nipple.

“Shit!” Dean gasped, jerking against the restraints. His nipples were maddeningly sensitive, something you’d discovered and exploited countless times to your advantage. You smirked as his chest heaved beneath your touch, his skin flushed and warm, before finally taking pity and letting go.

“Good.” You murmured, sliding off him with a wicked smile before disappearing into the bathroom to gather what you needed.

When you returned, his heart kicked into overdrive, a delicious blend of nervousness and anticipation flooding his veins. Your arms were laden with items: candles, a lighter, and a bowl of ice cubes. Each item sent a shiver of anticipation racing through him as you placed them deliberately on the bedside table.

Then came the silk scarf.

“Head up, baby.” You commanded gently, your voice calm but firm.

Dean obeyed, tilting his head without hesitation. You folded the scarf, thickening the layers to reduce visibility, and carefully tied it around his head.

The moment the blindfold slipped over his eyes; he felt the first flicker of discomfort. Being restrained was one thing, but losing his sight too? It stirred instincts deep within him, instincts that told him to fight.

You must’ve noticed the tension in his body because your lips were on his before the panic could bloom.

The kiss was deep and consuming, pulling a raw, needy moan from him that bordered on a whimper. With his sight gone, every other sense sharpened, heightening the warmth of your lips, the slick caress of your tongue as it slid past his lips, tangling and teasing his own.

Your hand moved as if guided by instinct, trailing down his chest and over the hard ridges of his stomach. His muscles twitched beneath your fingertips, jumping at the light, feathery strokes that left a trail of fire in their wake until that same hand was wrapping around his shaft. 

“Fuck!” He broke the kiss, his head dropping back onto the pillows as he allowed himself to feel, rather than see your hand jerk his hard cock. You pumped him in slow languid strokes, twisting at the tip before sliding a slick hand back down from the cum seeping from his tip.

Dean was panting hard, every breath coming in shallow, ragged gasps. Nothing had ever felt like this—nothing had ever felt this sensitive, this good. The knowledge that he had no control over your movements, the fact that he couldn’t see what you were doing to him, made everything feel more intense, more exhilarating. It was driving him wild in ways he couldn’t even begin to describe.

Maybe it was the sheer intensity of the moment, or the complete surrender he’d given over to you, but Dean already felt like he was on the edge. The softness of your practiced touch, the heightened sensitivity, it was all too much. He was teetering dangerously close to the edge of release.

And then, suddenly, you stopped.

His body jerked, his lungs emptying with a sharp exhale as the wave of pleasure he’d been chasing slipped away, leaving him reeling.

“Shit, baby,” he groaned, his body sinking back into the mattress, the fire of his orgasm fading as quickly as it had come.

He heard your soft chuckle beside him, followed by the distinct sound of flint striking a lighter, and his stomach clenched nervously. But beneath the anxiety, his heart fluttered with curiosity, anticipation swirling in his veins.

“Are you ready, baby?” you asked, your voice soft, teasing, as if savouring the moment. The pause that followed was intentional, giving him a moment to catch his breath—or perhaps, to let his nerves settle.

“Yes.” He answered almost immediately, the word a breathless promise.

You chuckled again, that sound low and sinful, and Dean could feel the bed shift as you moved over him, settling yourself onto him in one smooth, deliberate motion. This time however, he feels the warmth and wetness of your now bare pussy make contact his dick. His hips automatically rise, pressing against you with a deep groan. 

You place a hand at his lower abdomen, pushing him down with a breathless, “not yet.” He feels you shift above him; your movements deliberate yet teasing. A faint rustle catches his ear, followed by the softest puff of air that makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. 

The scent of extinguished candle smoke drifts between you, rich and unmistakable, and then it happens—the first drop.

Dean jerks, a sharp hiss slipping past his lips as the molten wax kisses his skin. It bites at first, a sting that pulls a harsh groan from his throat. His muscles tense, straining against the restraints holding his wrists captive. But the pain doesn't linger—it softens, melting into a low, throbbing heat that spreads across his chest.

It’s maddening. The sensation dances on the edge of too much and not enough, leaving him caught in the perfect storm of wanting to pull away but craving every second of it.

And just when he thinks he can’t take another drop, the contrast comes.

You press something cool and solid to his chest, the ice cube tracing the path of the still-warm wax. His reaction is instant—a sharp inhale as the icy touch shocks his overheated skin. The contrast is electric, sending a shiver down his spine that pools low in his abdomen; has his cock pulsing between your legs.

“Holy hell.” He rasps, his voice rough, filled with a mixture of surprise and need. The ice soothes the burn, but the sensation sparks something deeper, something raw. The back-and-forth of fire and ice leaves his body in overdrive, every nerve ending alight.

You hum softly, dragging the ice cube in slow, deliberate patterns, letting the chill chase away the lingering heat. “Still with me?” You murmur, your tone almost too sweet for the wicked grin he can hear in your voice.

Dean swallows hard, his head falling back against the pillow as a strained chuckle escapes. “Yes. Fuck yes.”

And with that, you start again.

The wax comes next, a deliberate, measured drip that lands on a fresh patch of skin. He grits his teeth against the sharp sting, his muscles twitching involuntarily. The heat builds, blooming outward in waves that make his breath catch, until you follow with the ice once more. The coolness bites, chasing away the heat but leaving a lingering tingle in its wake.

The cycle repeats, and each time, it feels more intense. The wax teases his limits, pushing him to the brink of what he can stand, only for the ice to pull him back. The extremes blur together until he’s not sure where the pain ends, and the pleasure begins. It’s overwhelming, intoxicating, and he’s powerless against it.

His chest rises and falls heavily, his body humming with tension and want. Each drop of wax pulls a hiss or a grunt from him, while the soothing ice elicits shuddering breaths and groans that spill from deep within his throat.

“Baby, please,” he finally chokes out, his voice wrecked, but there’s no mistaking the raw desire in his tone. He needs more.

You chuckle softly, your lips brushing the shell of his ear. “Tell me what you want, Dean?” You purr, dragging the melting ice over the curve of his collarbone and down his sternum, the contrast making him gasp.

And he does. He’s never felt so alive, so attuned to every sensation, every movement, every touch. The boundaries between pleasure and pain have dissolved completely, leaving him utterly at your mercy.

“I need you.” Is all he can coherent, his voice almost emotional. He was like granite against your sex, red and pulsing; a small pool of cum collecting in the dip of his pelvic bone, and you relented. 

“Okay baby.” You agreed, impossibly turned on yourself. 

Dean felt you rise on your knees, and guide him into your sex. As soon as he felt your warm, wet walls fully envelop him, he came. Hard. With a shout, his body seized, his hips sputtering with each rope of cum spilling into you, and the leather binds bound to his wrist snapped with the force of his climax.

The intensity left him trembling, tears stinging behind his closed eyelids as he fought to catch his breath. His lungs burned, his chest heaving with desperate gasps for air. His hands clung to your hips, holding you still against him, every nerve in his body alight and far too sensitive to handle even the slightest movement.

You reached for him gently, sliding the blindfold up and off his head. His world was still hazy, the pulse of his heartbeat roaring in his ears, muffling the soft, soothing words you whispered. Your hands cradled his jaw, thumbs brushing tenderly over the coarse stubble of his cheeks, grounding him as his body quaked beneath you.

It felt like an eternity before the aftershocks began to fade, his body finally surrendering to stillness after what seemed like an endless peak of pleasure. His breaths came slower now, steadier, and he dared to blink open his bleary eyes.

You were there, leaning over him, your face framed by the warm glow of the room. Concern flickered in your eyes, but it was softened by the unmistakable warmth of love and pride curling in your smile.

“You, okay?” You asked softly, your voice cutting through the fog still clinging to his senses.

Dean swallowed hard, his voice rasping as he replied, “Yeah... more than okay.” His lips quirked into a faint, exhausted smile, his hands loosening their grip on your hips to run soothingly over your sides. “You’re gonna kill me one of these days, sweetheart.”

Your laugh was light and reassuring, your fingers threading through his hair as you pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Not a chance. Someone’s gotta keep you in line.”

The kiss you gave him was tender, a gentle contrast to the overwhelming intensity of what he’d just experienced. Your lips moved softly against his, anchoring him, steadying the storm still swirling inside. It wasn’t just a kiss—it was comfort, warmth, and love wrapped into one.

He pulled you closer, his arms curling around you as if holding on to the only thing tethering him to reality. The steady rhythm of your heartbeat against his chest calmed him, grounding him in the quiet aftermath. His admiration for you swelled a deep, unspoken gratitude filling the space between you.

Dean let out a soft, contented sigh, brushing his nose against yours before murmuring, “You’re everything, you know that?”

Your lips curved into a smile against his, your fingers tracing soothing patterns along his arm. “And don’t you forget it.”

Suddenly, you’re rolled beneath him, the swift movement pulling your attention to the fact that one of his ankles had been freed, the restraint no longer holding him back. You gasp at the shift, eyes wide as Dean hovers above you, his gaze dark with desire—hungry, feral.

“Never.” He growls, the word rough and filled with an almost primal urgency.

It’s a challenge, a promise. You can feel the heat of his body above you, the strength in his grip as he holds you down, and you know it’s your turn to surrender.

You give yourself over to him, body and soul, not with hesitation but with the thrilling certainty that this moment belongs to both of you, completely. The world outside disappears, and all that matters is the way he moves over you, the fire between you both that burns hotter with every second.

AN: Phew! 😮‍💨 That was a steamy one! 😅 It's probably the steamiest thing I've ever written 😂. Let me know what you thought? I appreciate all of your feedback ❤️

Dean Winchester Tag List: @bettystonewell , @lyarr24 , @nancymcl , @jollyhunter

If anyone would like to be tagged in anything Dean/Jensen's characters related, fill out this short form > here < 😚

[marauder-misprint]

Hi! I don't know if you'd be comfortable writing this and if you aren't feel free to disregard this request lol but I was wondering if you could write a sirius black x plus sized reader hurt/comfort? Like maybe she's comparing herself to the people he's usually seen with and thinks he'd never be interested in her only for him to confront her after a bit of avoidance on her part and tell her that he doesn't think that way at all and that she's perfect and beautiful and he wants to be with her

Again if this is uncomfy or weird it's okay to ignore me- I've just been in a bad place recently and figured I'd try my luck haha

thank you for taking the time to read this! I adore your work ( ´∀｀)

Thank you so much for the request! I really hope I did it justice. I'm sorry that you're in a bad place and I hope it passes quickly ❤︎ I didn't go as deep into negative self talk as I could've - I know how mean we can be to ourselves.

Sending my love ❤︎

Boys like Sirius

Sirius Black x Plus size reader

2k words

cw: hurt/comfort, body issues, Happy Ending

It started in third year. Professor Slughorn grew tired of the Marauders interrupting every single lesson so he assigned them seats with different partners on different sides of the room. Remus in the back, Peter in the front, James on the left and Sirius on the right. It only sort of helped. Some days, it made the chaos that followed those boys fill the entire classroom, rather than their two stations. Other days, it meant that the boys talked to and worked with students they otherwise would’ve ignored. In Sirius’ case, that was you. 

The two of you ran in completely different circles. You had never been partnered together before and when given the choice, Sirius always sat with another member of the Marauders. The first few lessons sat next to each other were filled with plenty of awkward silences, mostly because Sirius was grumpy that he was separated from his best friends during a subject he didn’t particularly care for. But slowly, he opened up and once he actually talked to you, he found that he was enjoying Potions, if not looking forward to it. You were also enjoying Potions, because who wouldn’t want the gorgeous and charming Sirius Black as their partner? 

Your new friendship with Sirius spilled out of the Potions classroom. He’d wave to you in the corridor and talk to you in between classes. You were invited to study and go to Hogsmeade with all of his other friends. There were times when you felt out of place with his friends but Sirius made an effort to make sure you were included and listened to when you talked. In the end, you usually said yes to any invite because you got to spend more time with him.

The more time you spent with Sirius and the older you got, the bigger your crush on him got. You tried to play it cool. You tried to pretend that you weren’t absolutely head-over-heels in love with him, just like half of the girls at Hogwarts. Every time he flashed his trademark grin your way, you believed you had a chance with him, that maybe the stars were aligning and you’d get your guy. Every time he gave you a cheeky compliment or let his hand linger longer than a moment on yours, your heart would flutter with hope. Every invite was accompanied with hopeful eyes and excited chatter when you accepted. How could you not read into it? 

However, with half the girls at Hogwarts in love with him, you knew your chances with Sirius were slim. It was painfully obvious in your sixth year. Girls got more brazen with their flirting. He was single and they wanted to change that. It seemed like in between every lesson and at every meal, there was a different girl twirling her hair and batting her eyelashes at Sirius. And to make it all worse, it felt like every girl was skinnier than you. 

These were the thinnest girls with teeny tiny waists. Sirius could have easily lifted any of them up without struggle. And, well, putting it lightly, you had curves. You had thighs, a stomach, a butt, arms, breasts, a body. Someone once said you just had big bones, like that actually meant something. 

Every time Sirius flirted back with one of those girls who looked like the opposite of you, you felt a knife twist in your chest. It was hard to watch the boy you love flirt endlessly with those girls. It was a cruel reminder that boys like Sirius didn’t love girls like you. You felt doomed to a life without love. At least, without his love.

To lessen your pain, you began to distance yourself from Sirius. He had continued to partner with you in Potions every since third year. You talked less during Potions, knowing you couldn’t switch partners. You still waved back to Sirius when you passed in the corridors, but only if he waved first, and if he stopped to try to talk to you, you made an excuse to keep walking. You stopped finding him in the library to study with him and his friends, you stopped going to Hogsmeade with them. If you were barely friends with him, surely it would hurt less when the girls swarmed him. 

It didn’t. 

If anything, it made it hurt more. 

Those girls had it all, and they got his attention. They got his love. 

---

After a particularly quiet Potions lesson, Sirius couldn’t take the silent treatment anymore.

“Oi, lovely, what’s happened?”

You froze as you were putting your things away. You cleared your throat as his words sunk in.

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Sirius,” you said slowly. You hoped to Merlin that you sounded confused and not guilty. 

“Feels like you’ve been avoiding me,” he clarified. “Only ever see you in this class… and even then, you’re… you’re not you. You’re quiet. You won’t even look at me.”

You pursed your lips together. So, he noticed. 

“I’m just paying attention, that’s all,” you lied. 

He scoffed. “Paying attention so much you won’t study with me, ahem, us anymore? You won’t come to Hogsmeade?”

You felt the insecurities rising in you like bile in your throat. You didn’t want to talk about this. You knew it would only lead to you admitting your crush on him and his inevitable rejection of you. You could practically hear him saying already ‘I don’t feel the same about you… maybe it’s better you’ve been avoiding me if that’s how you feel.’ Boys like Sirius don’t fall for girls that look like you, you reminded yourself. 

You don’t look at Sirius. Instead, you quickly finished putting your things away.

“I need to get to my next class,” you muttered before disappearing out of the classroom.

Sirius watched you go. He ran his hand down his face. He missed you, your presence, your smile and laugh, everything. And here he was, wondering what he had done to make you avoid him so desperately. 

He found you after classes were over for the day; he knew he had to minimize your available excuses. He was going to talk to you. Sirius would be damned if he had to go another day without knowing you were acting this way. 

“Hey! Love, can we talk?” he said, grabbing your wrist gently.

“Sirius, I have to-”

“Please, I need to know what I did,” he said, beautiful grey eyes filled with worry.

“What you did?” you repeated. 

Your hesitation, although it was only a slight pause, was enough to allow Sirius to pull you down the hall and into an empty classroom. He closed the door behind you. 

“Yes, what I did. What did I do to make you avoid me? I thought we had a good thing going, you know?” 

You looked anywhere but at him. Even without seeing him, you felt yourself getting choked up. You could see his worried eyes in your mind and it was paired with the butterflies you got from him holding onto your wrist. 

“You didn’t do anything,” you managed to say, although your voice is tight, the obvious sound of someone about to cry. 

He walked toward you, putting his things down on the desk behind you and then taking your things out of your arms to put next to his. Then he held the sides of your arms. You had no choice but to look at him.

“Then why? Why have I lost you?” 

Why have I lost you? You wanted to scoff at him. You wanted to laugh dryly. Like you were ever his to lose. Could you tell him that you were just making space for all the girls that fawned over him? Could you tell him that it hurt too much to be that close to him and knowing he’d never look at you like you look at him?

“I-I… I’m protecting myself,” you decided on saying. “At least, I'm trying to.”

“Protecting yourself from what?” he asked earnestly. He paused as he looked into your eyes which were getting glassier by the second. “You know the boys would never prank you, right? I’d never let them.”

“No, not that.” You shrugged off his hands so you could turn away from him. You couldn’t bear to see him when he rejected you for what you looked like. “From… I’m protecting myself from heartbreak.”

“Heart… break…” There was a moment of silence. Then you felt his hand on your arm again. “Love, please explain what you mean.”

His voice made your heart break more than it already was. He was going to make you spell it out for him. He was going to make you say how much you loved him and that you knew he would never reciprocate it. It made your next words come out more angry than you had ever spoken to him before.

“I thought that if I put space between us, that I could stop loving you and it would hurt less to see every girl flirt with you, to see you flirt with every girl who… who doesn’t look like… like me.” Your words came out scathing like fire. It didn’t help that you could feel the hot tears streaming down your face. 

His hand dropped from your arm and you felt your stomach drop. Here it came. Here came the rejection.

“You think I’m flirting with them?” 

His voice was soft. It sounded almost insulted? It was followed by a soft disbelieving chuckle.

“Love, I may have… partaken in banter, but if I flirted, I never meant to.” His hand found your shoulder and turned you back toward him. “The only girl I’ve flirted with is in front of me.”

His other hand raised to wipe the tears from your face.

“I suppose my intentions could have been more clear, if you’re feeling this way. You should know I don’t invite just anyone to Hogsmeade.” 

You couldn’t find the words to respond. His words didn’t feel real. It felt like the world’s cruelest prank. Your uncertainty must’ve been written on your face because Sirius kept talking.

“Love, I’m gone for you. You’re the most perfect person I have ever seen and had the pleasure of knowing and spending time with. Slughorn pairing us together in third year? The biggest blessing, even if I didn’t know it at first.” 

He gave you a moment to process what he was saying, seeing if you had a response yet. You opened your mouth to try to say something but all that came out was a squeak.

“Let me be clear, I really, really, really like you. I want to take you on dates and spoil you like you deserve. I want to spend more time with you. I want to go to Hogsmeade with you and just you. I want to study with you, even if it ends up with you actually studying and me watching you… which is what usually happens when I’ve invited you in the past, in case you never noticed.”

You were beginning to smile, so he continued. 

“I want to hear you laugh. I want to talk to you in the corridors. I want to sit next to you during meals and be with you in the common room. I want to kiss you. I want to snuggle with you and hug you and hold you. I really mean it when I say you’re perfect. You’re so bloody gorgeous and if I have to blatantly flirt with you every day so that you believe it, I will. You just have to say the word.”

“Okay,” you said quietly in a shaky breath.

“Can… can I kiss you?”

You nodded and Sirius took a confident step toward you. He held your face with both of his hands before bringing your face to his. All of your insecurities don’t disappear in that moment like you’d want them to, but you felt more confident than you had in a while. You felt like you were on top of the world though. The boy you love likes you back; and you know this because you can’t fake a kiss like this.

[scribblue]

"Expectations" A Naturaldisaster* Fic

[*Poly ship with Jay, Cole, Geo, and Nya.]

Jay struggles with self-identity and relationships after losing his memories in the merge, and some familiar faces have been trying to help him through it... but it's an unfamiliar one that finally gets through to him. 3,437 words | Rated T, some suggestive themes/references | Angst and Comfort

Read below, or on ao3!

✧《✩》✧

The boy in the photograph almost looked like him.

Closely cropped hair modeled the same ginger hue as his current mop of curls, and a youthful face bore traces of freckles not yet matured under the sun. The boy was hemmed in on both sides by faces Jay only partly recognized– younger versions of the people that claimed to know him before the Merge. Cole stood on his right, Nya his left, squeezing in tight with arms threaded through his elbows. Their bright smiles and casual displays of affection almost made all those outlandish stories about his past feel plausible. Almost.

The longer he stared at the photograph, the deeper his unease grew. It was like peering into an alternate timeline, or some washed-up magician's crystal ball; everything felt frustratingly familiar and terribly wrong at the same time, like a word lingering at the tip of his tongue and never finding its way past his lips. Here was a moment in time preserved in a frame, yet all of his memories were nothing but static. This memory didn't belong to him anymore. He couldn't be sure it ever did.

"You and Cole were real close."

The gravelled voice jolted him out of his thoughts. Jay turned towards it, mildly relieved to see the one person that didn't claim a long, complicated history with him. Geo lingered in the threshold to the bedroom, leaning against the doorframe. 

Jay frowned. "So I've heard."

Geo countered his frown with a soft smile. He shut the door quietly behind him, though there was little need for privacy; Cole was watching the little gremlins with Bonzle over at the Monastery, allowing Jay and Geo an evening alone at the junkyard. Not that Jay would have objected to Cole's involvement, of course, except perhaps in this very conversation. "He told me a lot about you," Geo said. "About the two of you. You and Nya, too."

Jay rolled his eyes and gave an irritated huff, making sure to amp up the theatrics. "Oh, great. And here I was thinking I'd finally met someone who doesn't have all these expectations of me." 

"Expectations?"

"Everyone thinks they know me better than I know me, but they don't," Jay said, letting the bitterness drip from each word like Venomari spit. "They all try to tell me how I felt, what I liked, and how I acted, as if it makes any difference now." He set the picture frame down on the dresser with a pointed clank, his gaze still fixed on it. His old self smiled back naively. "That version of me doesn't exist anymore."

He hadn't realized Geo moved closer until he felt a hand on his upper arm, gently refocusing his attention to a faint, saddened smile. "But he did exist once, didn't he?" 

Something twinged in his chest, a pang of everything he'd tried so hard to suppress; he put on a good show of not caring about his supposed past, but here he was longing for his companion's words to be true. Heat rose to his cheeks and yearning flared into annoyance, brightening Jay's red eyes in a flash. He jerked his arm away. "I don't know! How should I know? I have no memories of anything before the Merge."

"I know," Geo said gently. He gestured to the photograph with a nod of his head. "But they do. Cole and Nya knew you intimately– whether you believe that or not, that's their truth. It's natural they want to share that with you, Jay. Even if things are different now."

Jay crossed his arms and turned away, taking a few steps towards the bed. It was neatly made in anticipation for his arrival, a third pillow living between the usual two. He glared at it with practiced indifference. "I'm not the person they all think I am."

"Maybe...maybe not. But you are someone they want to know, aren't you?" 

"Only because they think I'm their ex."

Geo crossed the space between them with light-footed steps, as though approaching too quickly would scare him away like a bird rustled from the bushes. He placed a hand on his back and leaned forward to catch a glimpse of his face, which Jay angled away to avoid his probing eyes. "You're not my ex."

"No," Jay admitted. "I'm not." That much was undeniably true. With the other two, he at least felt a nagging ache of familiarity somewhere at the back of his fuzzy mind, and had visual proof to back up their claims of previous relationships. Geo, however, was a blank slate. A different kind of mystery to unravel, with a whole different set of complications. Jay finally met his gaze, and the adoration– or perhaps infatuation– he found there was as enabling as it was overwhelming. "...I'm just something new to tinker on, aren't I? A broken man to fuse back together?"

Geo's elven ears drooped. The adoring look morphed into that of a kicked puppy, and for a moment Jay almost regretted his words, though only briefly; sick satisfaction was quick to lock its jaws around his neck. As much as Geo seemed to enjoy “fixing” him, these days Jay got his kicks by ruining everyone he touched. 

“Of course not, Jay,” Geo said. He sounded so sincere. Maybe he even was. “What would ever give you that idea?”

Jay snorted. “Please. That’s like…your whole thing, isn’t it? Turning trash into 'treasure'?” He reached over to the nightstand, picking up a mini sculpture welded together with Geo’s fusion powers. It was a figure, seemingly of Cole, frozen in a heroic pose and sculpted of scrap materials. Bits of metal, bottle caps, rusty gears and coils. He waved it at Geo with a sneering smile before tossing it at him underhand. Geo scrambled to catch it. “I’m just your newest project.”

“You are not– and be careful with that, that was an anniversary present.” Geo fussed over the figure, ensuring all of the repurposed trash was in the proper place. When he seemed satisfied, he carefully set it back on its place of honor.

“See? You care more about your things than you do me. Why do you even still make stuff with that junk? You said you could live anywhere now, you could be out there making…literally anything else, with literally anything else. Why a junkyard?" Despite a judgemental tone, his curiosity was genuine– Jay couldn't imagine why anyone would willingly live in a place like this, much less rummage through other people's trash to use as materials. 

“...I like it," Geo said, his voice so quiet Jay nearly couldn’t hear it. He averted his gaze and began worrying the tassled hem of his vest. “This place was my home when I never had one of my own, and… I don’t know. I like giving lost things a purpose. Even if I’m not lost myself anymore.”

Giving lost things a purpose. The words struck a chord somewhere inside Jay, like the ringing of the gong he still felt resonate through his bones. He pushed the feeling deep down into the yawning pit in his stomach. “Oh yeah? What’s my purpose, then, oh great Purpose-Giver?”

Geo halted his nervous fidgeting. Slowly, he raised his gaze to study Jay's face, feathered brows knitting together over probing eyes. "Your purpose?"

"Since you're the expert."

His lips pursed into a taut line, broken only by his two protruding lower teeth. “Well...what do you want your purpose to be?”

Oh great, the cryptic wise-man routine. Jay groaned, throwing his head back in exaggerated exasperation. “Nevermind. I’m sorry I asked.”

“Jay, you know I can’t answer that for you. That’s something you have to discover for yourself.” 

Though delicately spoken, his words hit like bricks. He wasn’t wrong, and Jay knew that. He hated that he knew that. He’d been struggling to establish a new purpose since leaving the Administration, since being abandoned by his master, Ras; so far, he’d come no closer to achieving that. “Yeah. Sure. Whatever.”

Geo stepped closer, extending a hesitant hand to clasp one of Jay’s. Jay stared down at it blankly. “You aren’t alone," Geo said. "If there’s any way I can help you on that journey, I, and surely Cole and Nya, would happily—”

Jay gripped Geo's hand like a vice and yanked him close. Their chests collided, and the sudden motion elicited a yelp from Geo, quickly stifled into an insistent kiss. At first he didn't return it, but slowly his lips softened to accommodate Jay's; not quite the same level of energy, but Jay had no issues picking up the slack. This was his element...at least, it was lately. An electricity unlike any he wielded in a fight. His free hand grappled at Geo’s waist, attempting to pull him even closer as though fusion could merge their bodies into one. 

He nipped at Geo’s lips, eliciting small noises in response but otherwise minimal reciprocation. Jay let go of his hand and took him by both hips, blindly maneuvering him towards the bed until he felt Geo’s calves bump against the frame. Geo pulled away from the kiss and gasped for the air he'd been passionately deprived of. “Jay…”

Jay kicked an ankle out from under Geo and allowed the two of them to fall onto the mattress, to another surprised yelp from Geo. Jay landed on top of him and wasted no time to dive back into a kiss, propping himself up with one arm and grabbing at Geo’s cropped shirt with the other. Everything in Jay's head had melted away, leaving only this. Only the moment they shared. Nothing else mattered.

Nothing else mattered.

Nothing else mattered.

Geo broke the kiss once more by turning his face away from Jay's mouth, which began to travel along Geo’s jawline and neck instead. Roving fingers teased the hem of Geo's shirt, before being abruptly grabbed and held tight. “Jay,” Geo repeated, more forcefully this time. “Can you just— hold on a second?”

Hold on? Jay pushed himself upright to the best of his ability, just enough that he could get a good look at Geo’s face; his cheeks were flushed a dark reddish-purple, but rather than the usual blissful or flustered expression, he carried a troubled air that gave Jay additional pause. “...What?”

“Jay…I…this is…” Geo fumbled his words, seeming unable to land on any. He rubbed Jay’s fingers absently with his own. “I…I don’t know if I’m in the mood…for this…right now.”

Jay felt himself deflate under the crushing weight of returning reality. “What? Why? What do you mean?” he said, unable to keep the panic out of his voice.

“I just– it's nothing you did, and it's not that I don't enjoy it, but… maybe we could just...talk, tonight?"

Jay’s pulse quickened. A litany of unsavory thoughts spiraled in his brain, a tornado of self-loathing that had long since been percolating, just waiting for an excuse to gain momentum. He’d made Geo uncomfortable. How? This was supposed to be the fix. The smooth-over, the nonverbal apology for every passive-aggressive comment that spilled from his mouth that night. How had he managed to mess this up too? “Talk? That’s— no, I’m not good at talking. Please, I’m not— this is the only thing I’m good at,” he said, the words spilling from his mouth before he could stop them. “Please, Geo, this is the only thing I’m good at. Don’t take that away from me, I—” He caught himself mid-sentence, realization sinking in at Geo’s increasingly concerned expression. “...No. I’m sorry. It’s fine, actually. I don’t even care. That’s fine. No worries, I’ll just— I’m gonna go, then.”

He started to push himself to his feet, and Geo hurried to grasp his arms, pulling him back. “Jay,” Geo said, voice as firm as his grip. “Stay. It’s alright, you don’t have to leave.”

 “Yes I do. I can’t do all this…this…talking. All these emotions. I told you, I’m not good at it. I’m not good at it like you, I don’t— all I do is make people feel bad.”

“You’re not trying to.”

"Sometimes I am. Sometimes I enjoy it, too. I’m really, really good at making people feel bad, Geo. But this…this is the one time where I feel like I can make people feel good, and…” His chest tightened along with his throat, and his eyes stung with tears that threatened to form. He heaved a dry sob, like a breath caught in reverse. “If I’m not good at that, what am I? Just some asshole with amnesia? Geo, I don’t know who the fuck I am. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t—” The floodgates burst, sending rivers of electrified tears streaming down his cheeks in a trail of static shocks. His shoulders shuddered as another sob overtook him. “I don’t know who I am.”

“Hey, hey now, it’s alright.” Geo reached up to swipe at Jay’s tears, jumping slightly at the static that crackled on his thumb. He shook it off, wholly undeterred. “Come on. Come here.” He shuffled himself further onto the bed and laid down on the pillows, beckoning Jay to join him with wide, open arms. 

Jay sniffled, staring at him for a long moment before he finally gave in— what more did he have to lose? His dignity was already long gone. He crawled over to him and flopped into Geo’s arms, head landing on his chest. Geo completed the gesture by wrapping his arms tightly around Jay’s upper body in turn. 

As soon he sunk into the embrace, the sobs increased in intensity, and the tears poured onto Geo’s shirt. Geo only held him tighter, a granted permission that Jay had never even given himself: to cry freely.

Neither of them spoke. Jay wouldn’t even think of attempting it in that state, lest he be reduced to even more of a blubbering mess; he’d admitted plenty already, and Geo didn’t seem to mind the lack of conversation. He merely hummed a comforting tune under his breath and rubbed gentle circles into Jay’s back. It was a strange sensation, to be cared for. Jay wasn’t sure he knew what to do with it. He didn’t understand how Geo offered it so easily, like it was second nature to him. But the embrace felt…nice, Jay supposed. 

He had no idea if he’d ever cried like this before. It certainly felt like a first. Had the old him sobbed on Nya or Cole’s chest? Did he cry over every little thing, or had it only happened when he reached a breaking point? Did he feel as ashamed of his tears then as he did now? Jay had no answers for any of those questions, and wasn’t sure if he truthfully wanted them. All he knew was that, be it a first or not, he was sobbing in Geo’s arms. And in some odd, twisted way, it felt good. 

He wasn’t sure how long he cried. It ebbed and flowed like a wave, building up to a crescendo just to crash and settle once more. Eventually, though, his tear ducts began to dry up, and the tightness in his chest began to ease. Geo wordlessly stretched an arm over to the nightstand to grab a tissue, which Jay gratefully accepted— he felt like he was drowning in his own facial fluids, and was eager to regain some composure. Geo just laid there, observing while Jay aggressively wiped his face, blew his nose, and tossed the balled-up tissue onto the floor. Jay let his head fall back on Geo’s chest. His neck felt weak. And Geo was warm. “Don’t tell Cole or Nya about this,” he mumbled.

“About what? You littering tissues on my floor?” Geo said, earning a slight amused huff.

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah. I won’t. But having emotions isn’t a crime, you know. I don’t think either of them would judge you for it.”

“They should. It’s gross. I hate it. Don’t tell them.”

Geo chuckled softly, the heave of his chest shaking Jay’s head. “I won’t, I won’t.” 

“Good.” He considered leaving it at that, but a dreaded seed of guilt began nagging at the back of his tired mind. He curled his arm around Geo’s torso and sniffed. “...Thanks.”

Geo craned his neck to place a gentle kiss on the top of his head, amidst his fluffy curls. Barely did it graze his scalp, but he felt it resonate down to his very core. “Any time.”

They laid there in silence for longer than Jay could keep track of, despite his attempts to keep time by the ticking wall clock and the beating of Geo’s heart. It thump-thumped a steady rhythm, as dependable as its carrier. Slowly, the internal lullaby lured him into a deep, inescapable slumber.

✧《✩》✧

Cole

Despite having their own room in the Monastery, neither Spitz nor Fritz would be deterred from sleeping in their ‘own beds’ that night. Cole certainly couldn’t deny them that, even though he was well aware they’d be sleeping in his arms before they even arrived—and they were. Or, at least Spitz was. Fritz was determined to walk regardless of his barely open eyes, guided like a sleepwalker by Cole’s hand. 

He didn’t blame the two of them for wanting to come back. While the monastery was like a home to him, the first to take him in after striking out on his own, the Finder’s residence was his home. His, Geo’s, Bonzle’s, Spitz and Fritz’s. Maybe it was once made from necessity, a lack of freedom…but it became a choice to stay. And it was a choice he was happy to keep making.

The house was quiet and dark when they walked in. Curious, he had expected at least a couple lights, or to hear some muted conversation. Everything felt so…still. Cole shifted Spitz on his hip. “Bonzle, can you take the kids to their room? I gotta check on the love birds.”

“Can do,” Bonzle said, reaching out to take Spitz from Cole with a soft grunt of effort. Cole transferred Fritz’s hand to hers and the three adoptive siblings made their way to the younger one’s bedroom. 

Cole smiled after them, and then turned his attention to the closed door across the hall. He approached cautiously and gave a small knock. “Jay, Geo? I’m home.” Without a response, he tried the doorknob—unlocked—and opened the door as quietly as he could muster.

It was dark in the bedroom, too. As Cole peered in, a strip of soft blue light illuminated the pair sleeping on the bed above the blankets, still fully clothed. Jay was laying somewhat on top of Geo, with his head resting on his chest and one of Geo’s arms draped loosely across his back. It was as heartwarming a sight as it was surprising to see Jay cuddled up on Geo the way he used to cuddle up on Cole. The way he denied ever doing before.

Geo peeked open an eye as the light hit him, sleepy confusion giving way to a smile when he noticed his partner standing in the doorway. He beckoned for him, and Cole was quick to comply, leaning down to give Geo a peck on the lips before gingerly climbing into bed. He moved slow and deliberately so as not to wake sleeping beauty, managing to position himself in a spooning position against Jay’s back with his head on the pillow next to Geo. He stacked his arm on top of the one that currently cradled Jay, enveloping him in a dual hug. 

Jay shifted and let out a muffled groan, and Cole froze, unsure if Jay would appreciate or allow the intrusion. It wasn’t long before he got his answer by way of Jay’s hand fumbling into theirs, weakly grasping at their wrists and pulling them tighter around his body. He stretched his legs, shimmied his shoulders, and let out a long, drawn-out sigh—content, or perhaps resigned— before settling back into sleep between the two of them.

Tension released from Cole’s shoulders, and he sighed happily in turn. Whether or not Jay would acknowledge this night ever again, much less allow it to be more than a fluke, Cole would appreciate every moment while he had it, this glimpse of his old jay resurfacing.

I know you’re in there, Jay, was the last thought that crossed Cole’s mind as rest began to claim him. And we’re right here.

[cherrysurf]

𐙚˙⋆.˚ life with you

.ᐟ Osamu Miya x F!reader

𓂂fluff, domestic osamu

Osamu aside from his “apathetic” attitude towards everyone he was very much the opposite around you. It wasn’t always this way, you two had met in your early 20’s during college when you both found your love for cuisine and its culture. He thinks it was destiny and you wouldn’t have agreed more. Life with Osamu and running Miyas kitchen was comfortable and a perfect small little life for you two.

Atsumu was happy for you and Osamu, he thinks you were just what his brother was missing all along.

Your guys’ daily routine was wake up, one cooked breakfast, ate together, head off to work, and the other person would cook dinner. It was simple but it was fulfilling.

Osamu never pictured himself having a grand and extravagant lifestyle like his brother, he always knew he was going to end up this way. With or without a partner but he’s glad it was with you.

Whether it be true or false Osamu thrived in the shadows unlike his brother who basked in the light. You always loved yourself, a quiet hidden man, you sought after a small hidden life with Osamu.

Yes life was quiet and peaceful, but around each other you two were anything but those things. Maybe the loud talks, annoying ugly giggles and food fights made up for the quiet lifestyle you two had perceived to anyone who didn’t know you both fully.

You knew there was life in you both you just expressed it differently and only for each other. Which was how it should be.

One day as you two lay down to rest your eyes for another day of work, laughter and love. You found your gray haired lover closer than usual..

“Samu are you sniffing me right now…” you try to peek over to find your boyfriend’s face sunken into your neck, the top of his head only to be seen.

“I just can’t get enough of your smell, I don’t know if that’s weird but I don’t care” he giggles on your neck with Louder sniffing as if to emphasize how good you smelt to him.

“Mmh really? What do I smell like to you?” A smirk reaches your face as you feel a warm smile from osamu on your neck.

“You smell like me but better like sweet and warm and cozy. I just want to sink into you.” He lifts his head up with a gentle laugh and a kiss on your forehead. That you gladly accept.

“What do I smell like to you?” He asks as he repositions himself to lay on your chest his typical spot for the night. Just like a cat.

“Like onigiri and that sexy cologne I got you for your birthday.”you giggle lightly as you card your fingers through his freshly washed hair.

You both find such joy in moments like this only shared between you two never leaving those four walls of your bedroom.

Ty @dearru for the idea ily

Taglist: @heartmaddie @ellsarchive @vertejay @bakery-anon @pneumosia @na-i1